Loved & Lost? (page 3)

teejay

SP,

You got your nerve asking this kind of question so early in the morning.

While I'm here...

Personally I think it's better to have loved and loss rather than not at all. I think.

northern girl

"a life full of emptiness and regret"

Remember, if you've never loved there is no emptiness ... you wouldn't know the difference.

You can't regret what you don't know.

On the other hand if you have experienced love and lost there IS emptiness AND regret.

northern girl

Lady Lee

northern girl

yes there could be emptiness and loss

but it could be richness and memories and blessing and strength

it could be an increased understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and your ability to love and be loved

I guess it is a matter of how we define ourselves and our experiences.

It is a risk to love because we could lose the person. But I think in the end we lose more if we never try

I will give you a simple example.

My mother has only seen my grand-daughter 2 or 3 times in 9 years. She has missed getting the love of this wonderful child. She has missed tiny arms wrapped around her neck and a wet kiss planted on her cheek. She has missed watching her first great- grand-daughter fall asleep in her arms. She has missed that wonderful baby smell that only wee ones have. She has also missed scribbled pictures of "me and ggma" to hang on her fridge and phone calls and I love yous beyond count.

I wouldn't miss one of them. Not for all the heartache of living a half a continent away

lisaBObeesa

It is MUCH better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before!! The love is forever, and it is beautiful. It is well worth the pain that comes with losing.

tinkerbell82

You can't regret what you don't know

you can certainly regret missed opportunities though, and that's more what i meant. i wouldnt want to look back at my life when i'm old and be full of "what if's". i'd rather not have to wonder what might have been.

northern girl

tinkerbell82:

Life is always full of 'what ifs' ... I'd rather age with the peace of mind I had before suffering the loss of love. Like I said you can't regret what you don't know.

I'd rather wonder what might have been ... instead of knowing and losing. That's just me ... obviously most people agree with you.

northern girl

Lady Lee:

I just responded to you but my PC ate it up ... sorry.

I said that you are a lovely lady and a ' together' person. Too bad we aren't all so well disposed ... thanks for sharing.

northern girl

tinkerbell82

That's just me ... obviously most people agree with you.

northern girl...i would have completely agreed with you not so long ago...i never thought i did want to fall in love...but corny as it sounds (and i know it sounds COMPLETELY corny!) , it happened and it totally changed my perspective. but that's probably just my youthful naivete showing it's face again ;) after all, i've only experienced the love bit, not the loss bit.

Lady Lee

NG what makes it so hard for you to think about trying? or trying again?

GentlyFeral

obiwan,

I would rather deal with the thought of never loved.

The problem with never having been loved is that you have no proof that you are lovable! And the conviction that they are unlovable has driven many to suicide. I've flirted with suicidal thoughts. I don't recommend it.

But I have loved and lost. Yes, the pain of loss was deep. But I've had other, equally true, loves to help me over it, so I can say: I wouldn't have missed it. She was a soulmate, too.

edited to add: Bless you, Christine!

GentlyFeral

Loved & Lost?

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