by Chook 19 Replies latest jw experiences
One could make a list
a jw child picking the householders flowers while mama witnesses
a man who must stop for chicken everytime he's out in service
You can't leave out the naked or the gun toteing householders
the animals a large rat on the shoulder, biting ferrets, ferocious dogs being held back, cockroaches crawling towards your bag.
hoarders who invite you in and you have to crawl over the stacks of newspapers and magazines wondering what lurks below
Called on a woman who took the magazines lay them on the floor and squatted over them and pooped..............!
Blondie, really? That's the best yet!
Should've rolled them up when she was done and handed them back and said "I don't want this crap in my house"!
Yes, really Shirley W. Had no smart reply I was so surprised. Just left trying not to laugh.
Elderly couple living in an old Airstream, my parents studied with them when I was a child. I was told to keep my feet up off the floor because they had rats. Sometimes the lady offered to make us tea, omg. This was in northwest Indiana, by the cornfields.
In a poor isolated neighborhood, at the edge of town, a Hispanic family was preparing a dead goat for lunch. It was hanging by a tree with its throat slit. A 5 year old was pulling on the horns apparently trying to get the last drop of blood out.
One of the sisters I was with said she wanted to puke.
Elder story:
Many years ago, in a congregation far, far away, an elder goes to the door while I wait in the car with the rest of the group in the driveway. It was rural witnessing. A small chihuahua comes yapping around the corner. Elder goes to scare the dog by raising his foot and stomping on the ground. Only problem is that the dog darts under the foot as it comes down. Snaps the dog's neck killing it instantly. The door starts to open and the elder panics. He picks up the dead dog and puts it in his witnessing bag. The householder, unaware, enters into an enthusiastic discussion. Elder reaches into his bag to get his Bible. I'm not sure exactly what happened in what order as it all went so fast. Elder grabs hold of dead dog that he forgot about. Screams in fright. Drops bag and dead dog tumbles out. Householder screams. I lose it laughing my head off. Brother driving the car turns to tell me off and accidently presses horn on steering wheel. I completely lose it and double up in laughter. Congregation buys householder new pedigree chihuahua. Experience does not make it to convention program.
I was at a wholesome gathering playing a game where you read a scenario and give a person two options, they choose one, everyone says whether they are telling the truth and they reveal if they were. I think it's a real game but we'd done our own JW version.
Anyway The question I had written was this: "You're out on the field service with Elder Bob. The householder pulls a gun on you. Do you A) Dive into the bushes or B) Pull Elder Bob in front of you to take the blast."
Elder Bob was one of those crusty old elders who all the youngsters were scared of. Cut to the Sunday meeting and elder Bob puts his hand up to answer a question in the Watchtower and says "This one time, I was on the field service and the householder pulled out a gun. I had to dive into the bushes to escape." All the kids were looking at me open mouthed. I couldn't believe it!
It turns out that the watchtower elders son was at the party and had told him about it and then he and Elder Bob had cooked up this plan to freak me out!
I remember our group was witnessing in a tower block. One of those run down, poorly kept tower blocks that are filled with wierdos, drug addicts and the mentally ill.
Knock on a door and a homeless looking fella invites us in. We go in. The place is filthy. No carpet, wallpaper hanging off the walls, ashtrays and discarded food all over the tables and chars. And a huge pile of empty beer cans behind his sofa.
He has a painting of the virgin mary and baby jesus above his... well, that place where your fire would usually be... he told us he originally wanted to be a priest but wasn't allowed. Of course we fed him lines about him obviously being a someone who wants to serve God etc and hoping to draw him in. He suddenly put on a little girls voice and went "princess" as if he was talking to someone in the room. He would talk to us normally then suddenly put a little girls voice on again and say "princess".
Turns out, princess is his cat. That went missing in this very room 4 years ago.
I was out in service with an older pioneer sister and a teenage aux pioneer (we were aux pioneering on summer break). I wasn't feeling well and told them I wanted to go back to my car. They didn't want to do that because then the young brother couldn't be alone with the older sister, so everyone would have to quit. We came away from a door I got almost to the car and threw up all over the lawn. They still didn't want to quit, because you know you have to get your hours, so she drove to the store and got me a coke to settle my stomach.
