During the early 2000s, a married prominent elder, "Brother M", was disfellowshipped for adultery with the wife of his buddy. That elder's innocent wife, who was known to be a stern woman, was subjected to more blame than her adulterous husband because it was learned that she had a pattern of "withholding sexual relations" from him, effectively driving him toward adulterous conduct as a result deliberate deprivation of marital relations. Because his wife shared some blame for his succumbing, she did reluctantly forgive him, and they remain married to this day. The same cannot be said for the other marriage, that of his innocent buddy; she was disfellowshipped, promptly divorced, and left the faith. The adulterous elder was reinstated after a short time, and is now serving as coordinator of the elder body in that same
congregation where he had been disfellowshipped years earlier.
In the 1990s, a similar scandal occurred at a different congregation. The body of elders learned that a younger married couple in the congregation was experiencing marital discord, so two elders volunteered to offer a shepherding visit. The young couple accepted a few shepherding visits from that pair of elders but the marital problems continued. The husband stopped attending meetings and ministry, however his wife and young children continued active with the congregation albeit irregular, so she received ongoing shepherding attention which eventually involved one of those original shepherding elders, "Brother W", providing comforting phone calls and one-on-one visits. She voluntarily confessed to those one-on-one shepherding visits escalating into a complete sexual encounter with the elder. She was not disfellowshipped, only publicly reproved, primarily because she had been sexually exploited by the predatory elder, and because she voluntarily stepped forward to confess. Her marriage ended by divorce. She managed to stay active with the congregation for awhile but soon thereafter left the faith. The elder was disfellowshipped because he had concealed the adulterous wrongdoing until confronted with her confession. The elder's wife forgave him. Later, after multiple written requests for reinstatement over the years, he was eventually welcomed back into the organization, now serving again as an elder in a congregation several hours away from that scandal hometown.
We all make mistakes that we would like to overcome in life, but JWs teach that their leadership is especially appointed by God's holy spirit because that leadership meets lofty scriptural qualifications, so discovering the dirt about their double standards is troubling, and often raises the first big doubts...
Anthony Morris scotch bottles...
Theodore Jaracz rape allegation...
Scandals, whether small town drama or WT top brass, trouble many good people right out of the faith.