Me personally I never got much assistance, and often I felt bad having to ask unless I was willing to pay them. That been said I once had an elder who had welding skills offer to do some welding work free of charge. Which I was most great full for, and I did offer to pay him but he wouldn't take it. I settled it with a box of beers. One incident I can remember when we really did need help and was told no, was when my grandfather had a stroke, and we required some one to sit with him until we got our affairs sorted out. Some sisters did offer to sit with him. We would of only required initial help for maybe 4 weeks to sort things out. It lasted 2 weeks before we got called into the back room and was told by elders they arnt a charity. What annoys me is that my grandfather had been a jw for little on 60 years.
Question...
by ironsnake656 38 Replies latest jw experiences
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ironsnake656
Interesting comments and responses. LongHairGal: I'm referring to both moral/financial help, I can also include physical help. This question was raised because I had an experience.
Five years ago, I was experiencing financial hardship and I was unemployed. I received a call from a brother who wanted to gather a team for an industrial company, because he received a call from the general manager. The general manager was a well know brother who was in our congregation before he moved; I knew very well this brother since I invited him sometimes to my house to have meal with him and his family. The brother who called me invited to an interview and to travel to the city to check everything before moving. Everything went fine: interviews, medical checks, apartment rent, cost of living, etc. Then, the brother told me that the hiring process will take a while, so I returned home to prepare myself and my family for moving. The time passed: one week, two weeks, three weeks... and nothing. So I called back the brother, and he told me that something went wrong with the hiring process and I will not be hired. He forwarded me the email from the general manager where explained why I was not hired: I had two lipomas in my harm and medical department was worried about it. I explained them that those were from genetics and benign body fat tissue. But the decision was made: I will not be hired, since I did not satisfy the requirements for the medical department. Anyways... the general manager brother knew about my financial hardship, he knew me for a long time, and despite his position of power and decision, could not he made a concession regarding my "medical" condition? I was disappointed, (actually this experience was one from others which triggered my fading), since I expected a little help from someone who was considered "my brother".
I know a lot of brothers who did not receive any help from brothers who had the power/means of helping.
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LongHairGal
IRONSNAKE:
Wow, what a story about you trying to get a job that required you to relocate!
But, I question what you said about medical checks (?) this sounds bizarre. And being rejected over fatty tumors sounds ridiculous and suspicious. Maybe they wanted the job for somebody else and made up an excuse..
While I'm sorry for the disappointment, they are really mostly guilty of wasting your time and this could have been handled better. If you were going to be rejected you should have been told as soon as possible. I would have been very angry about being strung along and having to contact them because so much time passed. Hmmm.
I was always of the opinion that any dealings with JWs was a disaster because of all their B.S. and I hope you are doing better now.
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ironsnake656
I'm doing better now, LongHairGal. The story does not end here. Because I was really pissed off, I mean, PISSED OFF, I confronted the general manager brother in the congregation when he visited us after the incident happened. I told him that despite we were spiritual brothers, I expected his help since he knew about my situation. He answered that he knew nothing about the matter (which made me angry), and that he will try to seek something for me in the future. This brother was disfellowshipped after a year because he had a secret affair, and his two of his sons disassociated, and was fired from that company...
The point is that they wasted my time and create false expectations about the job, and they were called my "brothers"...
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LongHairGal
IRONSNAKE:
They got your hopes up only to disappoint you. Better that you knew you were on your own from the start.
There is a fundamental problem with looking for help in the Jehovah's Witness religion.
First of all: help never comes from the top down...The religion itself offers absolutely NO material assistance whatsoever. No soup kitchens, etc. They don't even have coffee and donuts if there was an emergency. They offer nothing to the community.
So, if a JW needs help they look around them in the hall. But, what are they looking at?
The culture and mentality is not geared to be responsible or businesslike and is, in my opinion, quasi irresponsible and flaky. There are people there who never wanted to work.
College and careers are discouraged and anybody with a full time job treated like an outcast (as I experienced). The religion even discourages a healthy attitude like saving or planning for the future. Meanwhile, the lowly ant stores up for itself. The result of all this is that many are in no position to help anybody as they can barely help themselves.
My observation was that if you were known to help or give money it wouldn't be a one-time thing. You would be hit up for more money like an ATM machine.
I know it's not easy making it in this world and I wish you the best of success.
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zeb
faced with eviction I asked a brother/elder to borrow his caravan (trailer) while our house was being built.
It was denied.
Baby was in hospital dying and elder could not visit baby or mother as he was working on a convention part.
and,
Years later I gave a pile of shopping to a beat up family doing it tough. They up and left the house weeks later leaving a pile of rented videos on the floor.
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SummerAngel
Joe 134_ hate to state the %###** obvious but they ARE a charity!!!
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Confusedalot
The time my ex-wife cheated on me and left, I was very depressed. In my worst moments I phoned the elders assigned to my case and they did not answer, I felt alone and forgotten by Jehovah.
And this is the problem: When you make your organisation God, when the org lets down members, they feel forgotten and let down by God.
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Vidiot
Confusedalot - "When you make your organisation God, when the org lets down members, they feel forgotten and let down by God."
I remember realizing something similar growing up...
...that if you teach your kids that if/when they're bullied, they're being "persecuted" or "suffering for righteousness' sake", odds are they're gonna grow up thinking God wants them to be bullied.
Not exactly the smartest idea.