out for a long time

Sledracer

My husband and I have been out for a long time, maybe fifteen years, I must say we are in a bit of a nowhere land spiritually, we find it impossible to attend any other church. We really resent so much of how they messed up our and our children's lives. We can't get back all those 25 years we were in. But we did learn a lot of good stuff, sometimes I miss the singing, many friends and the spiritual reading. Sometimes I think maybe I didn't appreciate all the good habits and spiritual enlightenment they gave me, and that maybe I should forgive the screwups and go back. The thing that bothers me the most is the disfellowshipping, and how it really messes up families, big time. Often leading to suicide. I'm onto them now, I don't think they would have the control, they used to, if I went back. I sway sometimes, out of loneliness. And yes I know they are a cult, and have read the great books.

Landy

It can mean big changes when you stop going to the meetings and see it for what it is.

Don't feel you have to replace it with another religion, spend the time with your family, your friends, take up new interests. Enjoy life.

ToesUp

They are still DF'ing people. It's an abusive cult. No disrespect but why would you want to go back into an abusive relationship?

stan livedeath

you missed the singing--?? are you sure you went to a jw kingdom hall ?

nugget

When we left the organisation we lost many people who we had viewed as friends and had to start again. We were in the organisation for 40 years so they had pretty much controlled our youth and held us back. However I have put a lot of effort into rebuilding my life and finding new friends who will not drop me the minute I disagree with them.

I try not to look back as there is little of value behind me and so much to discover ahead of me. Personally I could not go back, I found the basis of my faith was built on a lie, that the people responsible for my spiritual well being didn't really care about their followers and that my children were unimportant to them.

I can honestly say that by embracing opportunities it helps recovery. You have time to explore spirituality and look for answers without returning to the organisation. Fear of other religions has been programmed into us and whilst it is good to be skeptical you can try talking to people with other faith perspectives and those who have none to see if this helps you gain an insight.

Depending on where you live there may be a thriving community of exJWs happy to hear your story and talk about where they are in their lives and how they have recovered. You have made a start reaching out you can build from this point.

GoneAwol

Welcome Sledracer!

Dont think for one minute you can go back on your own terms.

Just because you are on to them doesnt mean you have control over them and their stupid bullying rules.

I think you maybe need to spend time studying the jws for what they really are and get rid of the mind control. It sounds like 'they' are still in your head.

Alive!

We built our entire community around JWs for some 25 years.....

At nearly 60 years old, it's been a painful experience....I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

Abandonment and agony from rejection is a key trauma for me, due to some complications in my formative years, too difficult to explain here.

It's a high price - but I couldn't be part of a movement that would never allow us to have free flow discussion as adults, as Christians even - and would seek to control people's personal growth with imposed interpretation (which changes with the wind) whilst making us give 'thanks' to God for each 'new truth'.

We have good days, weeks, months and then another 'cut' wounds deeper than can be put into words.

The culture is unhealthy, I know, it looks so 'good' on the outside....but no human should live with such threat and anxiety re their lives.

It's tough.

FayeDunaway

Why is it impossible for you to attend another church? Is it doctrine? Dig deep. Research. It sounds like you need a community to worship with. Witness singing is more like mumbles. Regular churches do it way, way better. And they read whole sections of the bible at a time, then analyze it. No more hopping all over the bible to prove strange things.

flipper

Welcome, sledracer.

Sorry that you experience loneliness. I hope you stay with this forum.

Would be good to know current information on the nefarious (really - no exaggeration) ways of the Watchtower, but mainly there is a community of really good people here.

We have made some wonderful friends here - honest and kind, interesting and fun to hang out with. Every summer we meet at Lake Tahoe - all are welcome. There are other meetups just about everywhere.

I have seen a big difference in the quality of people who are in and out of the cult.

Mrs. Flipper

elderINewton

Its quite possible that what you are missing is a support network, not a spiritual experience.

A good support network will likely provide the good habits, maybe even the singing and fellowship you desire.

As GoneAwol stated - its always the JW way or the highway. Don't let self-deception of longing for things you enjoyed deceive you from the the truth about the truth. Living a lie is not an easy thing to deal with, and comes at great emotional cost.

out for a long time

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