My thoughts as a born in are that you don't need to become the opposite of a JW if you leave. You can maintain the exact same set of morals that you keep as a JW if that's what you feel is the correct way of living. Not being a JW doesn't mean that you have to become a depraved amoral person, nor it means that you have to get involved in any event or activity that you yourself find questionable.
The influence of the JWs is not only about how you should behave as a JW. Please understand that they also claim that people who are not JWs or (according to them, "worse") leave the JWs are supposed to become bad people with no morals. That's far from true. In fact, since you seem to be gaining understanding about their changes in what they teach, please take a look about what they let people believe about the world outside and/or people who choose to leave. Their teachings in that respect are as questionable as the blood fraction.
I'm extremely mentally confused as to wether or not this really is Jehovah's earthly organisation, I find life hard facing up to mortality etc not having the new system hope, what nailed your decision to leave ?
What helped me leave is that I felt that their so-called paradise on earth teaching was not exactly a reflection of how they behave. I kept thinking that if the JWs I grew up with are the ones that I will be surrounded with, it doesn't look like paradise forever. Furthermore, the idea of this entire world not being worthy of continuing living just seemed wrong to me. HOWEVER, please keep in mind that you can leave and still continue having that hope, just look for it in a place where it makes sense.
How did you cope with world problems on news etc ? How did you fill the void ? Thanks
By accepting that that's how life is. Using "paradise on Earth" as an escape is a pipe dream. To me that's like living link an ostrich, burring your head in the ground without realizing that your butt is all up on the air. Pretending that there's going to be a change in the entire planet like the one the WT teaches just sounds off-the wall to me. Furthermore, the WT teaches this black and white mentality about the world and tries to present everything as if it's for or against their organization (masked under the vice of "Jehovah's").
I gained a truer perspective of what/how the world is, and it's nothing like what the WT says it is.
I hope this helps.