@OP,
Whatever you do, don't send them written notes asking them out. Stick to spoken word.
by Holden Caufield 20 Replies latest social relationships
@OP,
Whatever you do, don't send them written notes asking them out. Stick to spoken word.
I find the best way to ask them out is to simply say "we'll hang out". And that's it. Say it like you hang out with lots of people all the time anyway, like it's the most normal thing in the world because you're social life is just brimming. Even if it isnt, she doesnt know that does she?
"hey it was cool to chat, and i gotta go now but listen, we'll hang out ok?"
Done. Get the number. Hug close. Leave.
Holden,
I feel your pain. It is awkward asking people out, especially if your self-esteem is low. To this day I almost have to be hit over the head by a woman to get a clue that they are interested in me.
I wish the best in your endeavors.
JK
I knew this woman years and years ago. She dotted on me, where I went, she went, I could do no wrong.
One day I asked, "What should I call you?"
She answered, half-surprised, half-resigned, "I'm your mother! Duh."
@pale.emperor Nailed it.
Ask her to go ice skating.. You should read a chapter in the young people ask.
Don't forget "FORD" when you feel tongue tied.
In a non intrusive way ask about her:
FAMILY (People usually like it when folk take a non threatening interest in their family background)
OCCUPATION (ditto job, charity work etc)
RECREATION (Hiking/Cinema/Sports/Books/Cosy up in front the fire ...)
DREAMS (Plans/Holidays/Goals)
@freddo EW, no! Those are stock standard, generic questions that she's most likely SICK of answering (everyone asks the same cookie cutter questions when meeting someone new - be it with romantic or platonic intentions).
Avoid sounding like you're interviewing her, @Holden Caufield. I don't have any snazzy acronyms for you, but try be a little creative. If you're bold enough, even joke during the moments of uneasy silences that a buddy of yours gave you this acronym to help you get through it, lol. You could turn it into a game! Tell her she has to guess what the F-O-R-D stands for. Have a laugh. This could bring out the playful nature in both of you and ease the tension. Plus, that kind of conversation will be memorable for her :).
thanks for the tips she is one of the roommates of a friend of mind from college so I am sure to bump into her again.
pm for more advice.