Your opinion about dating sites?

nevaagain

I have been a JW all my life, and right now I am going through a terrible time, after my wife left me some weeks ago. While I also have a "spiritual divorce", which means I can remarry a JW again. I am not sure if I want to go that route again and dating in the JW world feels like a struggle sometimes. With all the rules. Going out alone for a coffee is a nono, going out in service alone is encouraged.

I am now ten years older from the last time I was dating so this will make the available fish in the pond even smaller. I thought about texting some female unmarried friends which I still had when I was single which I also found attractive, but it is so akward because they only knew me later with my wife on the side. The JW world feels so small sometimes ...

A JW friends of mine who was disfellowshiped for a year and used a dating site to hook up with women. I am not sure if jumping into the bed with someone will help in any way plus I still have the JW mind set, but going out on a date or two won't hurt.

So what do you think? Have you used dating sites before? Where they helpful? Or should I stay away of them?

Landy

I think it all depends if you want to continue being a JW or not?

If not then yes, dating sites are the modern way. There's no stigma attached to them in the way there used to be.

If yes, then, well, good luck! Did I read somewhere that available jw women outnumber available men? If so it could be a buyer's market.

Gargamel

My take on this, which may or may not be right for you:

Live your life doing the social things that interest you and make you happy. It doesn't matter what they are- writing club (local library?), reading group, badminton club, rambling/hiking etc. etc.

You may not meet anyone suitable for a while that way, but you will feel happy. Potential partners (unless they are co-dependent masochists) are more attracted to happy people.

If your needs are more about "friends with benefits" or just sexual, than about a long-term, committed relationship, at least be honest with her about it. If it's more about sexual curiosity (quite possible for someone from a religion that believes in heavy repression), maybe it would be better to avoid the risk of hurting someone and simply go and pay someone for the experience(s).

Whichever route you take, I certainly feel that it's better to date initially with a view to discovering yourself without making promises that yu may later need to break.

Above all, enjoy the journey and - be safe (but not so much that you can't experiment).

darkspilver

you mean apart from

https://www.gotinder.com/

?

That's all folks!

DarK SpilveR

dozy

If you are mentally "out" why would you date another JW? Would you really want to submit to all the JW dating restrictions ( having chaperones , no sex till the wedding day , elders all over you about "how you are conducting your courtship" etc ). And if you did hit it off - surely she would be looking for a "faithful" JW - not a closet apostate? That would cause a hell of a lot of "tribulation in the flesh" , to coin a term.

I was married for nearly 20 years till my JW wife had a mid life crisis and left me & the kids for another guy ( and then another , and another.... ). YMMV but for me dating sites were a huge disappointment and vastly over-rated. There really isn't much good out there in the second hand market especially if you are a guy- men vastly outnumber women and the very few nice women can afford to be really choosy so unless you look like Brad Pitt with a bank balance to match then forget that option. Most have more baggage than Heathrow Airport left luggage so unless you basically want to sleep around without commitment then they really aren't an option for a LTR ( if that's what you are looking for ) .

Try other options or just play the field for a few years & enjoy the freedom.....

darkspilver

There really isn't much good out there in the second hand market especially if you are a guy- men vastly outnumber women and the very few nice women can afford to be really choosy. Most have more baggage than Heathrow Airport left luggage. Try other options.....

ah right, cool, bat for the other side then

That's all folks!

DarK SpilveR

freddo

Try a hobby/passion that has plenty of females in it but that you might also enjoy?

Volunteer work? Dancing? Gardening? Learning languages?

DJS

Never again,

Regarding whether you should date a dub ever again:

Stay true to your screen name. Did you really consider doing that, or are you just funning with us?

Otherwise take your time. Guard your heart (and other parts).

Rattigan350

There is no such thing as a dating site. They are introduction services.

If I were single I would use match.com. you can see pictures and learn some things before contacting.

As said above, dating a JW is a mistake. you have to live by follow the rules and then your marriage is so divided.

DJS

Hello. Newman. I mean Rat Again. I thought that was your rodentous oderifousness I sensed when I logged on this morning.

What gives? You and I are starting to agree on stuff. Match is the largest dating 'site" I believe. It really isn't a bad place to start, aa Rat states, if for no other reason than to understand who is out there, what you are looking for and what you have to offer.

Your opinion about dating sites?

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