by RocketQueen 19 Replies latest jw friends
His cousin was df'd last year ,apparently force himself on an underage girl.
That's because the WTS/JWS religious organization is negligent to report criminal unlawful behavior to outside worldly authorities.
This has been brought to public attention recently by the organization's long standing cover up of acts of pedophilia with the organization.
He can try to fade away quietly without revealing any violations of Watchtower rules to any JW relatives. It is possible that he may fail to fade away because of a number of things- family spying and turning him in, zealous elders seeking to get rid of him, participation in holidays or elections or whatever.
But he may be successful and keep family from shunning him. Whether he succeeds or fails, he will still be out of that cult and free. Or he may choose not to try to hide things. He's still free.
You just never know. I successfully faded and maintain JW family contact, but my JW family is minimal where most are not JW. I am already married and have no kids, so I don't really have to hide things.
Regardless, he will be free of the cult. If he loses family to shunning, he will need others like yourself involved in his life.
Yes, they are that cruel. Just think of what you already know. They failed to report a statutory rape (at the very least, if not child sexual abuse and rape!). Shunning and banishment is very possible.
And this, is a criminal offense in Canada (not reporting):
(apparently force himself on an underage girl but oddly the police were never involved)
Other jurisdictions differ, but the JWS receives NO clerical protection under the law. They *must* report, like any other citizen (repeat, in Canada).
I would suggest the low profile when out in public or on facebook as well as dating. He can date who ever he wants and marry who ever he wants but he has to keep various aspects of his personnel relationships private. So that even his best behavior is not suspect.
There is another consideration re his sister and that is the ARC......... not Noah's boat LOL but the Australian Royal Commission which has been investigating child sexual abuse. There's one in Britain as well.
I bring this up because the WTBTS and their followers the JW's have covered this crime up from day one.
Children being sexually abused by other JW's including Elders as well as the child's parents is rampant within the organization. But it has been made worse....... When a family or an individual makes a complaint to the Elders nothing will be done to the criminal if he or she denies it........... Unless there are two witnesses to the abuse. It's called the Two Witness rule and was a part of the Jewish laws.
So because the WTBTS likes to think of themselves as god's representatives they in effect hide behind this two witness rule and sweep the crime under the table.
So in the recent Australian Royal Commission (still ongoing) The commission found 1006 cases that came before the various Congregations dating back to 1950 when records were first mandated to the present day. And of those 1006 cases with as many as 1800 total victims (pedophiles are serial abusers) not a single case was ever reported to the police!
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/6276815245017088/australian-royal-commission-findings-released
My ex-brother -in -law got out of getting df'd by telling the elders who came and talked to him that he no longer identified himself nor considered himself as a Witness. He had faded away but since he had been baptized he was still on their radar. What is interesting is that I heard through the grapevine that he was advised by someone (perhaps his dad who is an elder?) that when the elders came to talk to him this was what he needed to say in order to not get df'd. If he ever decided to come back to the meetings and reactivate, then he would be disciplined for his past actions...has anyone else heard of this tactic for not being df'd?
And yes, RocketQueen, self-righteous, hard-core JW's will turn in their own family and friends to the elders. Think of the Gestapo fear-based tactics and loyalty to the Fatherland and you have an inkling of how most JW's view their 'responsibility' to show their "love and loyalty" to Jehovah by turning in their fellow JW...its all based on the idea it is a way for them to show their Loyalty to Jehovah and his Organization. You know, I still remember the drama I was in as a 15 year old at the 1987 District Convention titled "Loyally Submitting to Jehovah and His Visible Organization"....it was EXACTLY this same type scenario of who are you going to be loyal to, your family or Jehovah and His Organization. I played the bad girl who was smoking and lying to her family but my "friend" convinced me to come clean to the elders or else she was going to .... wow, hadn't thought of that in many years but it goes to show the guilt techniques used to prompt the unquestioned obedience of the JW masses....
I was born in this religion and in the process of trying to get out while retaining my family. The best way i can describe it is like being born in North Korea: You're told one side of the story and that anyone outside is not to be trusted. You're constantly scrutinized. If you try to leave of your own choice you lose your family and friends. Because an announcement is made that "so-and-so is no longer a JW". Now, everyone in the Kingdom Hall assumes you've been disfellowshipped. And then the rumors go around about what it could be. Most assume some sort of sexual scandal.
Hi RocketQueen,
I left the faith in 2007, so my information may be a bit dated. For baptised members there is no dignified resignation process. Membership can end in one of three different ways. Disassociation happens when a member writes a letter of resignation. Disfellowshipping happens when a group of Elders forms a "judicial committee" and decides that the member has committed a serious sin and is not repentant. Disassociation by action happens when a member takes some action deemed a serious sin by the faith, such as celebrating a birthday or Christmas or voting or joining another religion then declines to meet with the elders or makes stipulations about such meetings the elders find unacceptable, such as a lawyer be present or the meeting be recorded.
In all cases the announcement is simple, "So-and-so is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses." Since this statement, by design, is a simple statement that is true, it protects Jehovah's Witnesses from a charge of slander. The slander is of course there, because Witnesses are taught the subject of such announcements are the moral equivalent of the sexual deviant mentioned at 1 Corinthians 5:1.
Once the announcement has been made, obedient members will begin to shun the former member. Shunning is effectively a living death sentence, in as much as the shunned individual is treated as if they no longer exist. Fortunately not all Witnesses shun to the same degree and if the former member lives with Witnesses some contact will continue.
The only viable way of ceasing to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and yet not wind up subject to this announcement is to fade. Unfortunately there is no set limit whereupon a former member can feel truly free from this threat. Jehovah's Witnesses can and do take action against former members even years after they have had not substantial contact with a congregation. Nonetheless as the years go by it becomes increasingly unlikely Elders will take action.
Any loyal and obedient Witness will inform the elders. One must keep in mind the perspective of the Witness. One leaving is making a grave mistake - they are leaving to become part of Satan's world. They are leaving the narrow road that leads to life (Matthew 7:14). The Elders are there to help such ones to repent and turn around. Only the most lawless will refuse this help and need to be disfellowshipped. Even then this is only being done to protect the congregation and help the wrongdoer see the error of their ways.
Thus it goes, that it often is family and close friends who make these reports. Those who want to fade must be determined not to do or say anything against the faith to any Witness, including close friends and family.
Also remember that JW's beleive that if you know about it and dont report it then YOU are guilty of hiding their secret and so sharing in their sin. So people feel guilt for not reporting it.
My wife was DF'ed a few years ago (she's back now) she went through her first pregnancy 100% alone. And when i say alone, i mean she spoke to NO ONE except me for the entire process - because, remember, as a JW she refused to have any worldly friends - so when you're shunned where are your friends? You dont have any. And in order to come back you need to attend meetings while being shunned, and STILL avoid worldly friendships.
I used to come home from work and my wife would be sitting in the living room with the lights off. Her eyes red with crying all day. She felt she didnt deserve to have heat/comfort for being DF'd. This is while being pregnant.
You think her parents were there for her? Nope. They shunned her. But only because they love her you understand.
I'm a non JW too and have been studying the exJW and JW worlds closely for years. I have friends and relatives in this group and really never thought much of it in terms of understanding who they really were. To us, they're the polite people who try to bring us to God (how sweet).
uh uh
Many stand before us with broken families, anxious hearts, and burdens due to a lack of education and sub par employment to suggest that their experience is the only way to salvation.
I suspect you're going to see, first hand, that which we'd perceive as cruelty beyond belief. That kid may be about to go through an earthly hell.
Pm me if you'd like to talk one day.
