by new boy 27 Replies latest jw friends
Ucantnome - You said "I had stopped meeting attendance and field service..."
Well, that is fading. What else could it be? How do you describe it?
Bet you are not on speaking terms with your "friends" and elders now either, which is the result of fading.
I stopped meeting attendance after discussing it with the elders so they were aware of how I felt.
fading to me is gradually disappearing and not saying how you feel
the elders came twice to visit me. The first time was with an accusation of apostasy it didn't go well for them.
and I am on speaking terms with friends and elders .
I do some work with a witness and I find it mixed some try to ignore me when they see me I think but I had elders that treated me like that when I was a witness.
no elder or servant ever invited us to have a meal at their house in years I was regular publisher but others did.
Mostly successful fader here... I say 'mostly', because as long as your name is still in the books, as long as some family members or old friends still hold out hope you're just 'going through a phase', as long as you have not made a definite statement renouncing your association with the religion, then the past will always be there to haunt you to some degree.
I'm sure there are a few cases of someone just walking away, moving away, and losing all contact with all JWs every again, but that would be a rare instance. Most of us have family ties, and therefore that's why we fade. We want out, but we don't let the WTS call the shots on how we leave. We leave on our terms, but our terms aren't clear. It's coy, it's subterfuge, it's cloak and dagger... all so we can see our kids, our parents, our grandparents.
And quite frankly, even some DFd/DAd ones can't totally escape it. Anyone with JW family with which you have managed to keep some relationship with, despite the fading/DFing/DAing, has to deal with having been part of that system at one point.
In short, for most of us, death is the only real way completely and totally out of the JW influence on our lives.
I fantasize with moving away sometimes, to a place like San Francisco or Oregon. Just a fantasy, a scape route in my mind when the meeting/assembly is going on.😜
DY
Ucantnome - Well, I certainly wish you the best on your "non fade" exit from the JWs that still allows you to hang out with current Witnesses. I would imagine this to be pretty rare. Just make sure any of the JWs you do keep in contact with don't see you celebrate a birthday, or hanging Christmas lights, or taking your children to an Easter egg hunt, or coming out of a voting booth, or lighting up a cigar, or coming out of an adult bookstore, or coming out of a church, or see you on TV celebrating your lottery winnings, or sporting a new tatoo, or be seen having someone come out of your home in the early morning whom you are not married to, or hear you are at a political rally, or change jobs to be a policeman, or join the military, or...
There are only 4 ways to leave the Jehovah's Witnesses
Some don`t want to leave.
.....
"This is the Best Life Ever!"
Thanks Brock,
I don't know that I would use the term 'hang out'. The witness that I work with lives thousands of miles away but we have interesting conversations.
Yes, I think it is probably quite 'rare' my situation but I don't think it is unique.
When it comes to what I do or don't do, my children attended school with other witnesses and they attended birthday parties, etc, I think it varies from area to area. Most of the things you list are not things I do anyway.
