Blondies post on an earlier thread re the gate crashers at the assemblies running to "save" the best seats got me to thinking…..
Just what constitutes a "good seat" at an assembly? I've never quite understood that.
Is it a seat close to the front, where you can watch the nervous brothers and sisters with their knees knocking, while they play out their scenes?
Close enough to watch the bad actors in the drama, so you can see their lip syncing, like a very bad Karoke bar?
Close enough to tell if the brother with 115 years of Bethel Service is actually wearing Attends?
Could it be an aisle seat, where you can exit gracefully to the washroom, to relieve yourself of the 4 beers you had with lunch at the Bistro down the street?
Conversely it could be a seat in the middle of the row, so you’re not constantly being bothered by the brother who had 4 beers with his lunch at the Bistro down the street.
Perhaps it is a seat in a row, that actually had a little more leg room than the others adjacent, only to be foiled by the couple in front, who come and put their cooler and baby blankets under the seats?
Is it a seat, that has a higher back on it, that if you actually slouch down in it, you can catch a few winks without anybody noticing, until you start snoring, or do the head bob?
Maybe it’s a seat where you can watch other activity, rather than what’s happening on the stage? Say a view out to the mall, where the smart people are, or a view of the turnstile entrance to the women’s washroom.
Do you look for a seat, that isn’t going to make your ass sweat so bad, that the seat actually attaches it self to your bum when you stand up to sing the song, and to add insult to injury, you have to reach back and pull the boxers, out of the crack of your ass?
How about one of those seats, that allows you to sneak out one of those "silent but deadly" farts, and in true Mr. Bean style nudge your wife and mumble something about the baby in front, while you crinkle up your nose?
Probably, it’s a seat that is closest to the exit.
What do you think constitutes a "good seat" at the assembly?