I’m in the same position with my aged father. To be honest I really don’t want him to wake up, and in my opinion is better of left in there. It can be frustrating but it’s the point of status quo, where although not perfect, it’s manageable. Maybe this is what might work for you.
Introduction
by joao 23 Replies latest jw friends
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James Jack
Welcome
Have you served at all?
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DesirousOfChange
The best method may be to ask questions they don't have answers for, such as why it was the "truth" that the generation of 1914 would be alive through Armageddon, but now the "truth" is entirely different. —Mum
I was sincerely distraught when first learning TTATT (The Truth About The Truth) to the point of physical illness. I was a True Believer. Prominent elder. Circuit and District speaker. It was a judicial matter that went to two CO’s, the DO, and the Brooklyn Service Dept. Since I knew the real facts of the matter I knew that they all “bought” the lies of the guilty brother involved. How could anyone fool the Holy Spirit? Unless there really is no Divine Direction. As I started digging it was like dominoes and there was no stopping it.
I began asking my wife (my best friend) to help answer the questions of this dilemma. They were sincere questions that I needed answered. Sadly we realized that everything we had been taught and believed for all of our lives was BS. I resigned from all positions (family needed me) and gradually quit service and meetings. She was much slower to “pull the plug” on it but when we became “outcasts” since we were no longer hob-knobbing with the JW Clergy class she saw that all the live was conditional. Then she did her own research. We learned that our kids had already determined it was all a Cult and we’re just biding their time to make their break
Remember, Baby Steps!! Don’t go at your wife with a shotgun approach. Bring up one issue disturbing you and wait for her to find the resolution. (Waiting on Jehovah IS NOT a solution.)
min the meantime but “Combatting Cult Mind Control” by Steven Hassan.
Good luck!
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joao
Thank you very much for all your advice! I know it'll take time, probably loads of it! We have time! :)
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joao
@James Jack
Yes, of course I did!
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GrreatTeacher
Welcome. Your first instinct is to shout the lies from the rooftops!
Do not do this!
This reaction makes sense to ordinary, unbrainwashed people.
But, trust us, this is a bad move because their minds have been compromised. Their ability to use critical thinking has been compromised!
Story after story on this forum proves that this way of doing things just does not work.
Be miserly with your new knowledge and reveal small things slowly. This has been the way that has shown the most success by people on this forum.
Spend some time reading the stories of others. You will find much that you will recognize, some warnings, some advice, and much fellowship without judgment.
Welcome!
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Witness 007
It took me afew years to slowly wear down my wife gently! She now swears like a sailor and is out.
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cyberjesus
Welcome... congrats on waking up....
Some wives wake up... some dont... its a fact you might have to face....
you have a life to live... now will have to face how..
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truth_b_known
Joao:
Welcome! You will find all sorts of advice and support from all sorts of persons who are former JWs and persons who never were, but still participate in this community. We may seem dysfunctional from time to time, but all families are. We are family. We truly do love another in spite of differences.
My situation was the reverse of yours. I was a born in Witness who married a woman who became a JW in her late 20s. She was a Witness probably all of 7 years before she quit. Eventually I came around and saw the Watchtower for what it truly is.
My suggestion is to maintain your love and support of your wife and children. If they want to go to the meetings, don't just let them, help them. Do nothing to interfere in their practice of being a Witness. Do not talk about teachings or anything of a religious nature. Be happy.
The most powerful tool to prove whether a religion is true or not is the happiness test. Happiness is not to be confused with the joy of experiencing pleasure. It is being content and the absence of mental suffering (fear, regret, sorrow, resentment). Witnesses can never be happy. That is why the religion is proven false. Arguments about doctrine can go on forever. Happiness is now or never.
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Vanderhoven7
Welcome to the forum Joao!
As a born again Christian, I once helped a young married man realize that the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses was not the truth. I gave him a copy of "Crisis of Conscience" and he quit attending the religion. His pimi wife however was devastated because of his doubts and disbelief.
He wanted to deconvert her as quickly as possible. I cautioned him to go slow. Arguments ensued and before long they were enemies. He finally convinced her of ttatt but that led to her leaving the religion....and him and running off with another man.
In his despair he ended up going back to the religion for support. I bumped into him a while back and he wouldn't even acknowledge my presence.
My point as well is: proceed with caution my friend.