I love books; I always have. They are my life and my livelihood. And many Jehovah's Witnesses, when they leave the religion, they think to themselves, "I'd like to read a book". But they often don't know which book to read. I'm here to offer some advice on how to choose a book.
1. To be specific you should start by reading any book called "How to Avoid Huge Ships".
2. Books containing delusions or Foucault's pendulum are obviously mistaken or double entendres. If they can be read against the grain they may be satisfying.
3. Books about trees are good to read, if a little self-referential. The exception to this rule is if the book is about climbing trees in central London. In this case it is a boring book to be avoided, like a huge ship.
4. Books that start on page 1 are usually better than books that start on pages 3 or 5, or a higher number. And any books that begins on pages 2 or 4 should definitely be avoided, as you would avoid a huge ship as per previous reading.
5. It's good if the book can balance well on the edge of the bath. Otherwise the book will fall in the bath, become wet and be very difficult to read.
6. Books that have won prizes are good to read. The Templeton prize in particular is a good indicator that these are titles worth looking out for in book shops or online. Books that are given as prizes on the other hand are not often good to read.
6.B Books with darker font can be easier to read when the light is poor or when travelling in a moving vehicle.
7. If you go to a public library and look for a good book to read you will find that the best books are the ones that are not there because other people have already borrowed them. To avoid this problem go to the library a day early and look for good books before other people borrow them.
8. 1001 books you must read before you die. To the making of books about lists there is no end. And much devotion to them is wearisome during the days of your flesh. They also tend to be too heavy to read comfortably sitting up in bed.
9. Books about Jehovah's Witnesses fall into three categories, both of which can be confused with the other unless you look at the barcode. These can be interesting, if you know what you are reading already from other books.
9 3/4 Books containing transportation advice cannot always be relied upon to give accurate information about departure and arrival locations. An exception to this rule is the man sitting in seat 61.
10. Marx said: outside of a dog a book is the working man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read, and too expensive for the proletariat to afford lighting.
Ultimately if you cannot find a good book to read the best thing to do is write a book yourself and then read it. Everyone has got a book inside them, "but in most cases that's where it should stay" - Christopher Hitchens.