by HeyLittleGirl 25 Replies latest jw experiences
Harder for born in because of the family being held hostage.
One thing I will say, I believe converts make more of a commitment than born-ins....and it may be harder to admit you are wrong and the blame is yours. There is definitely more sympathy for born ins, and I don't think that is quite right.
P.E. you hit the nail right on the head when telling what it is like being raised in this cult. As a born-in it was harder for me but my wife was a convert and was able to go back to her real self. She guided me through many things I did not know or understand about the world. It was the distrust of others and to learn just because I just meant someone they was not a friend. Friendship is something one needs to work on. I am so thankful my wife and I left together. She my teacher to becoming my authentic self. Whatever that is. LOL. Still Totally ADD
I would probably agree that it's harder for a born-in. You come in with family if you're born in. Plus you get indoctrinated so young and you really get shielded from other thinking.
It's not always the case. I was a born-in. I always developed worldly friendships that became closer than my JW ones, so when it was time to leave, I had friends on the outside. And I had also been prepared in that I knew the JWs were complete BS and what I was going to experience was more likely to be the "truth", so I was ready and OK with it.
Although I've got to feel for converts as well. You knew the world outside and yet you fell for this stupidity anyway. On the one hand, you might have a better BS meter and not get too involved. So leaving is easy. But on the other, you could be some special kind of stupid and fall deep. Then it's going to be BAD for you.
...I believe converts make more of a commitment than born-ins....and it may be harder to admit you are wrong and the blame is yours...
That may be true. Although I am technically an adult convert (with childhood exposure to JW's) I never had trouble admitting I was wrong.
HEYLITTLEGIRL:
I would say it is harder for a born-in or raised-in to leave the JWs as opposed to a convert.
I came in as a young adult who knew what it was like to live in the world. I was raised Roman Catholic. If it wasn't for my interest in end-time prophecy, I would never have gotten involved with the Witnesses.
I had family, friends, traveled, had Holidays, education, etc...I also knew that it was necessary to work and wise to plan for the future. This experience immunized me against the religion's ridiculous stand against college/careers. I let their talk go in one ear and out the other.
A born-in knows nothing else and is afraid to leave the nest or hive. I was able to pretty much pick up where I left off all those years earlier - older, wiser and more cynical.
Harder for born in because of the family being held hostage.
Not true. I became a Witness as an adult and started a family. After realizing it was a cult I wanted to leave WITH MY FAMILY. I actually spent six or seven years trying to figure out how to get all of us out of the cult together.
It didn't work.
I left. They stayed and all of them shun me. I have an adult child that lives less than 1 mile (1.5 km) from me. I reach out regularly, but still get rebuffed. This has been the case for nearly a decade.
Let's accept the fact: it can be hard for everyone, perhaps not in the same ways, but it is hard ... and very painful.
I think it is harder for born ins because your whole life you've been told that "the truth" is the right way to live. Your family has told you that, your friends, the elders, everyone you are close to has said it at some point. In response, you have said the same and told others that "the truth" is the best life out there. And now if you want to leave you're going to disappoint a lot of people, who whether valid or not will feel like you either betrayed them or you were deceived by some wicked influence. They will never respect your decision because they have been taught that it's the worst decision you could ever make. They won't realize that it is the only decision you can make because you just don't believe it anymore and perhaps never really did.
Not true. I became a Witness as an adult and started a family. After realizing it was a cult I wanted to leave WITH MY FAMILY. I actually spent six or seven years trying to figure out how to get all of us out of the cult together.
It didn't work.
I left. They stayed and all of them shun me.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I was able to get out with my children, I imagine leaving without them is the ultimate pain.
You all make good points. My freind (who converted in her 20's) found it harder to get mentally free than I did. And she helped me get physically free. We've been able to help each other a lot, I think because we each make up for what the other lacks in strength.
