Life Update 2019

by passwordprotected 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • passwordprotected
    passwordprotected

    It's been a while since I was anywhere close to being active here, or on any other ex-JW forum or Facebook Group. I rarely think about the religion and have little-to-no interest in it.

    However, I do, very occasionally pop in here. Hence this update, 3 years on since my last one - https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5720228449222656/update-on-my-journey-8-years-after-end-watchtower-control

    Personal Life

    I'm still with the wonderful woman I met in 2015. We got engaged last year, but have no immediate plans to marry as we have 5 kids between us and don't want to deal with the upheaval of finding a big enough home for all of them, plus we live in different school districts.

    Her large, crazy, fun family has adopted me and my children as their own, which is a great thing to experience.

    My oldest son turns 20 in January. He left the cult with his mum and me when he was 8. He's studying psychology at university now, reads deep esoteric books and has an interest in religion from an anthropological point of view. I'm overrun with pride in the man he's becoming.

    My daughter was 3 when we exited, she turned 15 this month. She's studious, sarcastic, cheeky and funny. At school, she's excelling and some teachers have suggested she go to university to study social sciences then pursue a career in law. She's tall, good looking and I know I'm going to have my hands full with eager boys at some point...

    My youngest son is 10 and was born about a year after we left the religion. He's never known any sort of religious indoctrination. Raising him is effortless. I never get any trouble from him. He's polite, kind and mature for his age. He's showing a real talent for art and animation and he's effortlessly cool.

    Work Life

    This took a bit of a hit at the start of the year, which was fairly unexpected. So, this year has been all about learning new skills and re-building my business almost from the ground up. I've spent hours learning photography and better videography and I'm making an ok living again. I've recently taken on a start-up business as a client and helped them with all of their marketing and graphic design, the latter of which I had little-to-no skills in this time last year.

    I also launched a podcast which you can listen to here - https://socialexperimentpodcast.simplecast.com/ - we don't talk about religion!

    JW Life

    I have zero contact with JWs, apart from my elderly and infirm parents who are now in their 70s. My mum has dementia and my dad has various ailments associated with age. I see them from time to time and my dad's now very pro-active about keeping in touch with his own family - none of them are JWs - on WhatsApp, which is great to see. I think he's realising the value of true relationships rather than the conditional hollows ones the Org offers.

    It's my parent's 50th wedding anniversary today. My niece - my DFd brother's daughter - has organised a surprise meal for them. I'm going with my partner, her daughter and my 3 kids. My DFd brother's going with his partner and their 3 kids. My faded second cousin will also be there.

    How is that going to go, considering the Org rules on associating and eating meals with unbelievers/DFd ones?

    I have no idea and I don't really care. Maybe my parents will baulk at it, maybe they won't. Maybe they'll feel bad about it later, maybe they won't. It's not any of our problem. We're there to help them celebrate 50 years of marriage, but on our terms. Otherwise, who would they have?

    On another note, one of my photography clients is a local high-end barbershop. The guy who cleans the windows is a well-known local JW elder, whom I had as BSG conductor for years. I've been working in the shop a few times when he's come by to clean the windows. The first time I felt awkward and stayed out of the way. But now, I don't care. I've got nothing to feel awkward about. He does.

    That's pretty much it! I'm now just over 2 years away from my 50th birthday. I'm fully aware that the majority of my life has been lived. My youth and vigour were claimed by the cult. But it is what it is. I'm determined to continue living the best possible life that I can. Raising my children to be the best possible human beings. Enjoying and learning from life's ups and downs.

    What else can you do?

  • Biahi
    Biahi

    It sounds like a wonderful, full busy life, like most of us are living. Your kids sound great, free of cult influences, and are on track for good careers. Good for you and yours! Living well is the best revenge!

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    That's marvellous passwordprotected! The honest life-- facing problems with realistic responses and strategies is the way to do it. The JW solution is "wait on Jehovah", tell me where did that sort of thinking ever get anyone except to become depressed and even more stuck in the cult?

    Your children are showing the true benefits of the rational approach ; education, parental love and no religious fantasies.

  • carla
    carla

    Congratulations on living life your way! wishing you all the happiness, prosperity and love for your future.

  • dozy
    dozy

    Thanks for the update. Glad life is happy for you & wishing you the best of health.

  • WingCommander
    WingCommander

    Fantastic update. Great to see you back around these parts again. Hope your meal with your parents went well.

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro

    Love reading these updates! Congratulations on living life well and more importantly giving your kids the opportunity to be free from the Borg.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    I'm fully aware that the majority of my life has been lived. My youth and vigour were claimed by the cult. But it is what it is. I'm determined to continue living the best possible life that I can. Raising my children to be the best possible human beings. Enjoying and learning from life's ups and downs.

    I think that describes the situation that many/most of us have found us to be in. It's so great when a Newbie pops up here that is in their 20's or 30's and you realize they escaped before the Cult consumed all of their good years in life.

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    Good to hear you are doing well. I kind of wish I had met you when you were going through your religious phase, because we might have had a good discussion. (I was talking to a Christadelphian couple a couple of months ago who remember talking to you years ago) Many on this forum seem to develop rapidly beyond JWs at an amazing rate. I go anywhere at a snail’s pace, and sometimes in reverse.

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    Great to hear from you ! and it is lovely to hear your life is a thorough success, by the way I measure true success.

    I have two lovely sons, both respected and liked by all whom they meet, they were never actually J.W's, though we were still in until they were in their late teens. I have two beautiful grandchildren, I do not live in poverty.

    I rate that as true success for an ex jeehubbabub who left after nearly six decades in and lost a lot of his business from JW's !

    Please don't be a stranger at our door here, I always enjoyed your Posts, even when you were still religious, your incisive mind and ability to frame a good argument were a pleasure, even if only to cross swords with !

    All the best to you and yours old friend, and keep us Posted !

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