The fundamental flaw from the start is the fact of two men going to see a depressed , suicidal and vulnerable woman . As someone has said it would be good for the comforter to sit next to her , hold her hand , put an arm around her . Just as a start , then of course she needs advising to seek professional help , but on that initial visit she needed to feel the love and empathy of another human being . Also men , even bereaved men cannot understand what it is like for a woman to have been left on her own . l'm not saying that it is worse for a woman , just different . The elders should , even if they felt that two needed to go , have taken a sister with them . Though for the life of me l cannot see why one elder and one sister couldn't have visited . So apart from all the other glaring faults that l think was the fundamental first mistake . Jan