Wake up and walk away.
Only increasing amounts of grief awaits you on this path....
In love with a JW girl
by rastapau 37 Replies latest social relationships
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The Searcher
rastapau - I'm a fading J.W. so I can assure you that you will only suffer far more if you continue down the J.W. road. Once you're baptized, you will be subject to the rules and regulations of a money-making cult which masquerades as "God's organization." If you question their doctrines, practices, or finances, you'll see a very different side to "God's people."
You've been fortunate.
Run as fast as you can - your girlfriend is programmed to either have you recruited or booted.
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Slidin Fast
Oh my! There is no happy ending to this story. You are both being manipulated. She has lost her family until she "repents". You have lost her until you cave in and are forced into the "religion".
Nobody should join a religion by coercion. Nobody should join a religion unless they have researched it from a neutral point of view. Do an internet search.
The only way that your relationship with this lady can continue is under coercion, you depend on the religion's permission to resume it. A relationship depending on this coercion is not well founded and is pre-disposed to fail.
Sadly my friend, there is no future in it. The advice given above is the only rational way forward. Affairs of the heart are rarely dealt with rationally however. The only other alternative is to talk to her and give her the choice between you and the religion. If she manages to break free, mentally as well as physically you have a chance.
Good luck!
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DJS
rastapau
As others have noted, every few weeks someone in the same position as you shows up on this site looking for the same assistance. Based on what you tell us about Little Ms. Can't Be Wrong, she has been Dishonest with you. Selfish and Manipulative. Her current plan to get you to study and be baptized in the cult or the relationship is off is emotional blackmail of the highest order, and a continuation of the trifecta of vileness she has consistently shown: Selfish. Dishonest. Manipulative.
I've known a lot of dub girls in similar situation who took their dub DFing punishment, got married to the non-Dub guy and gradually worked their way back into favor and reinstatement into the cult. Without 'requiring' or blackmailing the non-dub man. Little Ms. Can't Be Wrong apparently doesn't view that as an option.
Isn't that special.
There does not appear to be any redeeming values with this woman, with or without the cult's influence. I take exception with those who would blame shift her black personality traits on to the cult. She owns them. They belong to her. Making excuses for this wretched person will only keep you in her grips.
As Maya Angelou once said: "When someone shows you who they are, Believe them." The first time.
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Witness My Fury
As Maya Angelou once said: "When someone shows you who they are, Believe them." The first time.
I like that a lot.
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lara croft
It depends what you believe and how you want to live
Steve Hassan has good advice about how to wake up a loved one
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polish clarinet
just two ideas for you:
1. JWs must be loyal to God, to the Governing body and to the elders... never to their wife or husband!
2. the Matrix often wins! even if it is 5, 10 or 20 years later! The Matrix (JW system) will be stronger than you!!
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NVR2L8
Restapau
I faded from the JW 6 years ago but my wife is still active. Although I love her above anyone or anything else, her love and loyalty goes to the JW organization first. She blindly will follow their instructions and guidance even if it meant to walk into a fire. She unconditionally obeys them without thinking regardless of my feelings and it is absolutely impossible to reason with her on any matters that contradicts her JW views. We have been married for over 40 years and obviously she resents me for having left the path to everlasting life...but she doesn't understand or want to know why I just couldn't continue living under the mind control of the cult.
The only way your relationship can work is for you to totally surrender to the cult...but still your chances of a happy union will be tainted by a poor beginning in the critical eye of the JW community.
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nugget
Relationships with JWs are unbalanced and frustrating. You correctly identified that you gave up everything for her but she is unwilling to make changes for you. She wants you to be a JW which is an extremely restrictive religion but at the same time there is no guarantee that if you jump through all the hoops she will still be there for you.
Witnesses offer conditional love is that what you really want or do you want someone to love you for who you are.
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JRK
Run away while you still can!
JK