Elsewhere
A few years ago someone wrote a book called "Addicted to Misery" - I forgot who wrote it but an interesting little self-help book.
There is a phonomenon called addiction to crises and it describes fairly accurately what you have posted. Many (not all) os these people have grown up in chaotic families. There was always something going on, some crisis to deal with, some problem looming on the horizon. Very often abuse is a component of the family dynamics. Emotional management is an issue in these families. Frequently the adults have poor ability to control their feelings or manage the problems. With no adult in charge the children are often left to fend for themselves or become the family care-takers. Some familiy members become excellent at managing the crises, supporting all the others. And some of them never learn how to manage the crises or the feelings. Very often both have learned that there is always another crisis to deal with right around the corner. They live in fear, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Now out of that some people will feel constantly over-whelmed. They bounce from one crisis to another never seeming to get their head above water before they go down again. This group may just have not developed the basic skills of coping with what life throws at us. They become afraid to enjoy anything because deep down they believe nothing will work out. They rarely have an idea what happy is. This group will often resort to addictions to help them "cope" or not have to cope actually. Some will get into "trouble" with the law. Their poor ability to control their own feelings can result in some of the problems you mention.
Others may vascillate between feeling in control during a crisis and feeling useless, or bored when things are calm. This group winds up finding all the lost causes that need fixing. They have most often been taught to never say NO. They marry addicts (of just about everything), they take on too much at home, at work, with friends, they ignore their own needs to care for others. It is the only role in life they know and they are usually very good at fixing other people's problems. (I came from this group). They often juggle more than most people would venture to take on. And they feel most productive, most alive when in the thick of things. The in-between times are boring, or even worse, fear-filled. If they sit in the calm and start thinking about their problems they get over-whelmed and feel guilty for being so selfish. To ease the fear and guilt they go out and find another problem to fix and since they are good at fixing other people's problems, other people are never in short supply. And sadly some will unconsciously create their problem (like marrying an abuser for example). Many will have "accidents" when there is not enough on their plate to cover over the fear and guilt.
Needless to say they need therapy to deal with the family of origin problems and the long-term effects of that.
