Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and
all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be
out of work and their dreams would be shattered." Then I say to myself,
"It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true
than be selfish and worry about my liver." By Jack Schitt
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day." W C Fields
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
fools." Ernest Hemingway
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Henny
Youngman
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
Stephen Wright
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" Brian O'Rourke
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin
Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
Dave Howell
BEER: Helping White Guys Dance Since 1869
ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS Due to increasing products liability litigation,
American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that
the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of
alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause
you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without
spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most
people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may cause pregnancy. WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you
tink you can tipe real gode. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol
may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
