I turn my back on it all

by CruithneLaLuna 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • CruithneLaLuna
    CruithneLaLuna

    Friends,

    In perusing the postings here in the "Friends" section, I notice how many of us are still hashing over and rehashing the evils of the organization we were a part of, and how it hurt us, etc. I got kinda down reading it. While there is a place for this, and those who feel so inclined are welcome to indulge, my personal feeling is that what is best (at least for me) is to focus on my life NOW and what is ahead of me that I can plan for and work toward, to make my future much more enjoyable and productive than my past - because now I have the opportunity to exercise my prerogative to create my own life, without the WTS telling what to do and how to do it.

    So...for the most part, I'll "see" you in the other forums.

    Cruithne/Enhtiurc

  • Valis
    Valis

    Uh, there are tons of posts about all kinds of things. Try clicking on the Active Topics option and you will see all kinds of things get discussed. You are also a tad short sighted as every piece of anecdotal evidence, story, ongoing sagas of JW bullshit, "new light" that is found to support the idea that JWs are a harmful cult is important, just as much as the news items, court cases, lawsuits etc are. It helps people heal you see, and it keeps new people here aware of the reality that is JWland. Plain and simple. Try doing a bit more reading and a lot less judging in what you see here. It will take you a long way. Once again, welcome to the forum.

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    is to focus on my life NOW and what is ahead of me that I can plan for and work toward, to make my future much more enjoyable and productive than my past

    I agree. But before moving forward, very often we must deal with what came before. Most of us who were Jehovah's Witnesses either experienced abuse (sometimes hideously so), or our departure left deep emotional wounds that have not had a chance to heal yet. We are all on the same road, it's just that some are on different places on that road moving on different speeds. It wouldn't be fair to judge others' recovery from the Witnesses based on an arbitrary standard. Part of therapy is debriefing about the experience, and that's what many of us do here. We talk about what happened. We share common experiences. We rage against those who hurt us.

    This board is big enough that there is something for everyone. I myself rarely open the doctrinal/theology threads mainly because I am so amazingly burned out on the subject. I doubt I'll ever join another religion or engage in a serious Biblical discussion. But others need or want that.

    The day will come when I leave this board. I will have stayed here as long as I need to, and helped as many people as I can, and then I will move on. Maybe it's tomorrow, maybe it's not. Until then, I am enjoying my time here.

    "Those who cannot learn from the mistakes of the past, are doomed to repeat them."

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy
    to focus on my life NOW and what is ahead of me that I can plan for and work toward, to make my future much more enjoyable and productive than my past - because now I have the opportunity to exercise my prerogative to create my own life, without the WTS telling what to do and how to do it.

    I couldn't agree more. I personally don't like to dwell on the past, and really don't post much about it unless I feel my anecdote or insight might help someone else.

    However, everyone here is on a different path to healing here. Some need more venting than others. Some had it a lot worse than I did. A lot of the stories I read here make me sad as well, but they also re-affirm to me that I did the right thing, and that the people who post here have done the right thing, and that we can all share a common bond that we have had similar path, even if we have lost our "brotherhood" with our former friends and family. We all need to vent. Some of us more than others. And while sometimes we think we are "over and done" with the WTS, sometimes things in our lives flare up and we are reminded of the "bad old days" when we were still in the rank and file.

    Reading the stories also makes me very proud. So many posters here have been through so much more than myself. And the insight and growth they have on life has really been helpful to me, and appreciative of the life I have now, and the lives they have now. Everyone here has something to be proud of--and that is that WTS isn't telling us what to do and how to do it anymore.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Cru

    Yes this place tends to rehash a lot of the past. Happily not too many peopleremain in that place.

    This forum is a small part of our lives. We eat and sleep. go to work, pay bills, shop, care for our families. We are busy living our lives in the NOW.

    People come here for many reasons

    • to find support.
    • to find out they are not alone.
    • to find out they aren't crazy for leaving
    • to vent their pain and anger
    • to learn
    • to share
    • to help others
    • to find friends who truly understand because they have been there
    • to inform and warn others of the dangers of this group
    • to help themselves
    • to convince us we are wrong
    • and a whole lot of other things

    I have often likened recovery to the peeling of an onion. We have no idea what each layer holds for us or how much we may cry out in anger or pain as we peel that layer. But living in the NOW means that we will face situations we never had to face before and issues arise that we hadn't thought of before and we discover we are peeling off another layer. It really helps to do that with others that can support us and let us know it is part of the process and it is OK.

  • badolputtytat
    badolputtytat

    Hi Cru (for short... I cant pronounce crusanthamum... crusantilun... crun... nevermind...)

    I have read your other posts.. and as far as I can tell, you are very comfortable with leaving the Society... very strong. Very sure of yourself...

    You know what? I bet YOU could help some of the people who post those things.

    Just thought I would throw that thought at you.... you might be surprised at how many come here, and... well, they are truly scared to death! or sad or hurt or alone....There are new ones on the board almost everyday, and well.... don't turn your back on 'em. You seem like you have something pretty great to offer.

    Sometimes just hearing a strong person who 'escapes' is all it takes to break that one last ounce of doubt or worry.

    because now I have the opportunity to exercise my prerogative to create my own life, without the WTS telling what to do and how to do it.

    ..... see, we have had some posters here who wouldn't dare even THINK a thing like that....

    I know ... I know ... "shut-up!".... ok, I am goin.....

    ---puttytat

    But think about it huh

  • CruithneLaLuna
    CruithneLaLuna

    As I did say, my post was motivated by negative feeings that assailed me due to a slight overdose of "this is what the nasty WTS did to poor l'il ole me" type messages. I have those thoughts and feelings too, and I can appreciate that many people are in very bad shape, emotionally, spiritually, and otherwise, upon making their debut here, and upon leaving the organization. I didn't really mean to sound unsympathetic, unempathetic. However, I do feel that the best course for anyone is to get past the stage of grief and associated emotions as quickly as possible. I read in a self-help book once that we are biologically obliged to spend two days grieving over any loss, and after that period of time our grief is self-inflicted. While I believe that, and have actually experienced its truth more than once (and within the past 10 days, as a matter of fact), I too indulge in a measure of self-inflicted grief - but I am getting out of the habit, as far and as fast as possible.

    Dear Overbeer, I don't know where you got the impression that I was being judgmental; at least, that was not my intent. However, it's easy to give or arrive at slightly (or greatly) skewed misimpressions when attempting to use mere printed words to effect communication. If al those tads of JW-negative info are important, they need to be collected and published. Perhaps that is my calling, perhaps not; I wish it were someone's calling. I have two journalist friends (both working on books, one already published once) with whom I want to have lengthy discussions about putting something together. It is not my calling to do it alone, but perhaps with a professional writer firend or two.

    Notice I said I intend to spend most of my time and energies here in pursuits other than detaied analysis of the JWs' evils. Will probably give some attention to that area also, just not so much as to bring myself down. Ultimately, it's the old "taking personal responsibility for what we feed into our minds," and it's a personal issue, a personal probem. No one else here is doing "wrong" or needs to be scolded; I need to be more sensitive to my own inner barometer that says, "Enough reading about that for a while. Let's balance our info intake with something more uplifting."

    Oh, and I don't mind being called Cru. (Chant, "Crooth-neh! Criith-neh! Crooth-neh!") It's what I asked for by choosing the name.

    Cruithne/Enhtiurc

  • Shutterbug
    Shutterbug

    Sounds as if you were only here to take care of no. 1. Turning your back on people who could use your obvious wisdom is ununconscionable, but not to worry there are others who can do a good job of helping those still in distress. Bug

  • tinkerbell82
    tinkerbell82
    In perusing the postings here in the "Friends" section, I notice how many of us are still hashing over and rehashing the evils of the organization we were a part of, and how it hurt us, etc.

    you know, many of us are doing so for the first time EVER in our lives. it's a necessary step. i wouldnt dare speak for anyone else....but personally, i come here and and talk about stuff that i've never been able to deal with on my own.

    While there is a place for this, and those who feel so inclined are welcome to indulge

    if THIS isnt the place for this "indulgence", then i dont know what is. for me, this is the ONLY place i'm able to do that. i dont have anywhere else. in addition, i hardly see it as self-indulgence when dealing with these issues is a critical component of moving on with life. you may have already reached that point where you have overcome the past. but others here havent gotten there yet, myself included, and to call them 'indulgent' places a stigma on them that they just dont need, imo.

  • Swan
    Swan

    Why would someone come to a Jehovah's Witness Discussion Forum and then complain about people talking too much about Jehovah's Witnesses? You do have a right to complain about us complaining, but at as it seems to be the proper place to have these discussions, gripes, complaints, your complaints seem a bit self righteous to me.

    I didn't really mean to sound unsympathetic, unempathetic.

    You are doing a really terrible of job of not sounding this way. I'm marking you "needs improvement" on this one. Maybe you should work on this a little harder while we work on our recovery issues.

    Tammy

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