Google "ex jw critical thinker" and view the video on either to 'Fade or Disassociate'. It's excellent!
DY
Drifting what i've feared has started already...
by pale.emperor 23 Replies latest jw experiences
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problemaddict 2
Hey PE,
A lot of people here including myself, can really understand what you are going through. I was your typical golden boy. MS, pioneer, gave the parts, been ont he circuit, "need-greater", foreign language congregations....etc... My wife the same. Pioneered since she was 12 for 17 years.
I stopped going 3 years ago, and it was rough. I made some mistakes, I have lost close friends, but I caught myself before I blew up everything. So I still have JW friends, a couple of which I have been able to get out, and my wife came around (which I can't tell you how unexpected that was), she just had to take her own journey and be assured of my complete love and loyalty to her.
The thing that made me pump the breaks was knowing that my lack of patience, desire to just be left alone, and wanting to get things off my chest (I was an idealist who started out thinking I could change things), led to conversations that were ALWAYS going to go poorly. Once I realized this, and once I really woke up to the idea that the elders were just guys.....who weren't really my friends.....that had no real say in my life, I was able to politely say no thanks and change the subject. I didn't have to give reasons. I completely took control, and was kind and direct. It changed everything.
Take care of your wife first. You will find the opportunity to put in a couple things here and there. Your immediate family is all that matters in this case. But do not push it. Pay attention, be a great person, and love her. That will speak volumes.
the elders can't make you do anything. if they call for your report, kindly let them know if there is anything to report, you will let them know. If the elder in your apt complex asks you to meeting or service, say no thanks but you appreciate the offer. then wave and go get some tacos.
These basic things you would do if it was ANYONE else get lost when its an elder or someone in the religion. Its part of the training. Acknowledge the control is has over you, and it will free you from it.
Thats my 2 cents.
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smiddy
Remember , the only power they have over you is the power you give them .
Don`t give them that power by doing what they want you to do , do what you want to do and don`t let yourself be manipulated by them.
Simply stated you don`t have to answer to them ,tell them your spirituality is between you and your GOD nobody else .
Use spiritual warfare : Deflect questions , evade answers , play dumb , just keep changing the subject, and walk away .
Don`t invite them into your house for a talk ,they will only try to trip you up .Don`t meet with them.
smiddy
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Black Sheep
Once you identify yourself as the evil one sent by Satan to lead them astray, your family members will shut you out and your best chance of helping them leave is gone.
Consider playing the long game and being the last one to leave.