My point is I am leaving a place of extreme bias. Trying to function in a world without a God seems (at this point) easier than what I am truly dealing with:
I totally understand that, I agree that it is a very good place for you to be at right now. It is quite similar to what I felt after leaving the religion. I only knew that the JWs were not right, to think about what religion may be right or if God existed seemed too much to think of at the time. I just put one foot in front of the other and hoped that with time things would become more clear with time, and that is what happened.
It was seven years after leaving that I found this board, I was afraid before then, the brainwashing had not quite worn off. I stopped coming here at one point because I found the atheist believer debates depressed me. But still, I thought about things, after several years I came back and finally I realized I did not believe in God. I can read the debates now without getting wound up in them, but I don't often contribute to them myself, I am uncomfortable with some of the condesending attitude with some here and feel it's counter productive.
My spiritual journey has been a long one, with may turns, but I am very happy where I am right now. It may be sacrilege to other atheists (if that is possible,) but I haven't written off religion entirely, I occasion attend my husband's church, it's a liberal religion, they don't have any doctrine and are OK with atheism. I still feel that I am spiritual, which many atheists would think is ridiculous, but that's their problem, not mine.
The reality is what difference does it make if you believe in God or not, as long as you treat others with respect and are a good and moral person? If religion gets you there, fine. If atheism gets you there, that's fine to, at least in my book.
the loss of friends, the anger and "guilting" of genuinely hurt family members that think my everlasting life is now in "danger and the sheer lonliness that I internally feel.
If you are still struggling with this, I highly recommend meditation and journaling. It has been a big help to me. Meditation is easy, free and very effective as helping you deal with emotions. It only takes time and practice. There are lots of ways to mediate, they all work, just do an internet search. Journaling is even easier, just sit down every day and write down a page or two. It doesn't have to be anything specific, just whatever pops into your head. You would be surprised how much this helps, you will eventually see a pattern and it helps you deal with all of it. A legacy of my years in dubdom is some long-standing stress related health issues and meditation has helped me with these, I recently have started getting more serious about it, with good results.
To be able to say to myself, I will be what I decide is right in the world period, is not a place I am at but it sounds good given where I am really at presently.
I agree, I wish you well on your spiritual journey.