*WARNING SUICIDE RELATED POST

by Annamouse 12 Replies latest watchtower medical

• 

  Annamouse

  Hi,

  I am not sure that it is appropriate to ask this on here but I don't know where else I would.

  Bit of background: a couple of years ago I was reproved after I slept with a brother that I was in love with but we were not married. In fairness, the elders were kind and supportive. The problem is, I had always been the model witness before that. I felt dirty and disgusting, I went into a deep depression and ended up trying to end my life by overdose.

  I have always known how close I came to succeeding, I was on life support for 3 days and my family were told to prepare for the worst.

  My question, if there are any paramedics/A&E workers on here, is why my clothes were cut off me? Just the top half, coat, jumper, bra. I know I was airlifted to the hospital and that I was unconscious. I am wondering if it was because I had stopped breathing and needed CPR or if there is another explanation? I know it doesn't really matter but it is a strange feeling not knowing what happened.

  I was kept in a mental health unit for a couple of months after and I am still on medication.

  I'm sorry if this post is not appropriate.

  Anna
• 

  blubberyk9

  This is a best guess as I have relatives in the medical field. It is standard procedure to cut off clothing rather than attempt to remove them any other way. I would guess that they wanted to do an EKG and needed the access. Or, they may have deemed it necessary just to start an IV.
  

  I hope you are feeling much better now!
  
• 

  Annamouse

  Thank you, yes that is very helpful!
• 

  road to nowhere

  Clothing can restrict breathing depending on how tight it is. Access for a defibrillator ,ekg , minimum moving limbs as they dont know if there are other injuries.

  The hoops to jump through for marriage are ridiculous at times. I can at least ve glad my wife and I just eased into a relationship.

  Remember a final solution to a temporary problem doesnt work.
• 

  Simon

  In fairness, the elders were kind and supportive ... I felt dirty and disgusting

  I think these things contradict each other and are likely linked. However "kind" they may have seemed, they ultimately promote the belief that you should feel dirty and disgusting for what you did.

  You shouldn't.

  As for having clothes cut off - that's because they need access to put drips in etc.. and can't be doing that while taking jumpers off etc... They don't know if they may have to wheel you straight in to surgery or how long you'll need to be hooked up to various machines. They wouldn't want things connected to you to be caught up in clothing etc...

  I hope your life has improved and you can focus on healing and recovery and making the most of your future. Life gets easier the longer you are away from the negative outlook they push on you.
  
  
• 

  MeanMrMustard

  Defibrillators require direct contact to bare skin to work. Also the electric current can cause jewelry or bra clips to get hot. Combined with a sense of urgency, I think cutting everything off seems reasonable.

  Are you feeling better? Still feeling guilty?
• 

  hybridous

  Anna, is that all you really wanted to know?

  We are glad that your attempt was unsuccessful. Your best days are still ahead of you.
  
• 

  sparky1

  Take heart, Annamouse. As you can see by the comments of blubberyk9, road to nowhere, Simon, MeanMrMustard and hybridous you are among people that support you. No need to feel guilty or dirty about your sexual experience or suicide attempt. We are all frail humans and find it a challenge to navigate along the road of life. The problem with most religions is that they put you in a double bind. They expect perfection from you in your conduct while driving it into your mind that you are a worthless sinner that is prone to do bad and can't get along in life without their guidance. One of my favorite quotes is from Jon Kabat-Zinn: "At any given time in your life, there is more right with you than wrong with you."
  
• 

  smiddy3

  Welcome Annamouse

  Good advice from all of the above this is a very supportive and encouraging forum .I do hope you do stick around and that your physical and mental health improve so that you dont feel the need to try to harm yourself again.

  Do take care and I wish you well for the future.
• 

  Pete Zahut

  My question, if there are any paramedics/A&E workers on here, is why my clothes were cut off me?

  As others have said, your clothes were cut off for quick access so that emergency personnel could utilize life support and medical diagnosis equipment. I'm guessing you had a heart monitor and respiratory management equipment attached and were given Naloxone or some other medication depending upon what you O.D'd on. If you'd have had CPR, you'd likely have extreme bruising and a cracked sternum.

  The problem is, I had always been the model witness before that. I felt dirty and disgusting, I went into a deep depression and ended up trying to end my life by overdose.

  As a "Model Witness" you likely had a lot of unrealistic expectations of yourself and of others and an imbalanced view of yourself and your worth for having been less than perfect. This is because JW's tend to forget that the moral code they follow and refer to as "Gods Law", was meant to be a protection for mankind not a means to catch them out and punish them. They tend to emphasize the punishment and sin aspect rather than the intent of the moral laws they follow.

  In fairness, the elders were kind and supportive.

  Remember, the people who saved your life, didn't learn those skills just for you. They are there to help millions of others like you who really love life and do want to live but just couldn't see past their current painful situation.

  Thankfully you survived and those highly trained individuals were able to help you in a real and tangible way rather than read you a daisy chained set of scriptures to show you the error of your ways and then read your name out in front of a congregation of people and require them to abandon you in your hour of need. That is not at all "kind and supportive" and to think that it is, may be a bit of the left over skewed JW thinking.

  Glad all of that is behind you now. Thanks for sharing your experience with us !