Is it because of Pride or Loyalty?

by joey jojo 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • joey jojo
    joey jojo

    In a recent effort to entice me back to meetings, an elder friend gave me the example of his Dad.

    He said that his pioneer/elder/ex-missionary Dad went through the anticipation and disappointment of 1975 and yet, he kept going faithfully for decades afterwards. The obvious point was that, if his Dad can deal with disappointment, then, surely a nobody like me could do the same in regards to the scrapping of the 1914 generation doctrine, and all the other changes. His 'encouragement' was to tell me that it was only me that felt like this, everyone else is fine and have no problems with the changes. I wanted to say to my friend that 'perhaps his Dad is a gullible loser' but that would have been extremely unkind.

    I realised that by 1975, his dad would have had about 30 or 40 years invested in the org. He was the P.O., an elder with a family and had status in the cong.

    When I think about people that stay as a JW, despite all the glaring errors and backflips, it seems to be more pride than loyalty that makes them stay. Its hard to admit you are wrong, especially when you have years invested. Even the notion of facing up to being wrong is hard.

    There is a line that seems to blur between pride and loyalty. People have lost fortunes holding shares in companies that go broke. Is it misplaced loyalty to the company, or an unwillingness to cut your losses and admit you were wrong because of pride?

    As an example, I remember when snowboarding became popular, there were those that didn't want to try it, mainly because they were very good skiers, with decades of experience. To learn snowboarding meant that they had to start over again as a nobody. Was it loyalty to skiing, or pride that made them unwilling to give something else a try?

    To a lot of jw's, it would be a bitter pill to admit you were wrong and go to the effort of leaving the org. According to the bible, pride is supposed to be bad thing but it might be the only thing keeping herds of sheep- that the org can fleece, from leaving. Personally, I think that's why the org will always exist in some form.

    "Its easier to fool someone than to convince them they've been fooled."

  • Funky
    Funky

    In summary: The "sunk cost" fallacy.

    I suspect it's responsible for a very large percentage of JWs just hanging on.

  • nonjwspouse
    nonjwspouse

    I have not been in here for about 10 months. I'm deep into the process of divorcing the abusive JW wannabe. I gave it my all, for way too many years, and recognized, finally, I stayed way too long.

    Anyway, is the WT now changing the teaching of 1914? please fill me in.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    I think there is also that "ONE FOOT IN THE DOOR" crowd of JW's. They have huge doubts and no longer really believe that The End(™) is imminent. BUT, WHAT IF WT IS RIGHT? They cannot get it completely out of their head, so they "keep one foot in the door" -- just in case. These are the people that "jump back in with both feet" when there is a "9/11" event or pandemic.

    Then, there is the "BEST WAY OF LIFE" crowd. They have really given up any hope of walking right into Panda Paradise. They've lived through numerous WT False Prophecies. But they think "Where shall we go, Lord?" Not from a religious or salvation point of view. Rather, where else would they go to replace all their "friends" and social network? As long as you don't want to live immorally; as long as you don't need a transfusion; as long as you don't have a member abusing your child or grandchild; then it's not a bad lifestyle as long as you find your clique. After all, "where else shall you go" for pizza and beer after the meeting?

  • Ding
    Ding

    Disappointment over 1975?

    Was something expected to happen in 1975?

    Seriously, investing years of your life and burning all your other bridges is a powerful motivator to keep going down the same path in the hopes that it really will lead to somewhere nice.

    We probably all know people who don't really believe it any more but fear that if they left that would be even worse and that they would be totally alone.

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    1975 was supposed to be year 6000 of the 7th creative day. So the 1000 year reign HAD to start then to maintain the time table.

    I Think a lot of it is habit, along with social networks.

    Right now 1914 generation is "explained "word for word from the WT but they start on 3rd base with erroneous assumptions about 607bc-- remember the public WT that said maybe the Bible record missed dates of kings so you cannot count back and get to 607.

  • tiki
    tiki

    I totally agree with the pride factor....it is a bitter pill to swallow to admit you were wrong and wasted so much time and energy in an insipid daydream....

    Case in point...I know of one elderly, now deceased, who had been in jail during WWII for neutrality....over the years recognized some of the flaws but was loath to admit them....but expressed that personal dilemma...admitting being locked into something for a lifetime and realizing it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Some can get loose and free...others never manage to...

    The human condition is fundamentally flawed and those flaws are exploited by power hungry individuals or groups. Individual responses vary....

  • truth_b_known
    truth_b_known

    I too think it is the Sunk Cost Fallacy. It is a means that people use to deal with cognitive dissonance. One thing all people deal with is the fear that "they wasted there life". The longer a person is in the harder it is to leave because of that fear.

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    Beyond "sunk cost" I think a lot is explained by sheer momentum. It's easy to just keep doing what you've always done. Changing the course of your entire life is a lot of work.

  • JoenB75
    JoenB75

    I remember my dad often when considering doubt with old jw friends often said, well who else could possibly have the truth? I know No other. They were all woefully ignorant even of resembling groups. My father never got to use the internet despite formally being better educated than me. Clearly the internet has changed everything. Before the internet, a lot of knowledge was only avaible to specialists working in the particular field. The learned contempt for the English wiki is related to that issue

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