by Newly Enlightened 11530 Replies latest watchtower scandals
He’d ask his Patrons to fundraise in order to pay off Laban.
This one made me LOL.
I have to admit, I think we've hit on a new idea:
"The Bible according to Cedars" - biblical accounts as told through the life of Lloyd Evans!
Any more parallels between scriptures and our 'favourite' Reluctant Apostate (tm)?
Did Lloyd choose all of the above? if so and judging by his past behavior towards CSA victims and stalking other women online, I am going to say that these are his actual fantasies, if they are, then this person is an extremely dangerous man.
Then there's the comment that he made about his wife not being sexually compatible.
No, he dated a prostitute, everyone knows that silly. It's right there in the bible!
🤣🤣🤣
Yes but only in the Thailand version...
I have to admit, I think we've hit on a new idea:
"The Bible according to Cedars" - biblical accounts as told through the life of Lloyd Evans!
Good Idea! Start in Eden where Adam (Lloyd) gets Eve but finds out they are sexually incompatible. After Jehovah God refuses his request for multiple sex partners to be created, the Serpent comes down from the tree and convinces him to eat from the Tree of Prostitutes.
Jesus (Lloyd) preaching from the Mount of Olives that the amount of Patrons was pitiful and he'd be forced to dismiss the apostles, giving only two sermons a month. Also blaming the "defamation campaign" on the Pharisees. Known in perpetuity as the "Things Are Bad" sermon on the Mount.
WTF is his problem with Samson then?
better hair ?
Start in Eden where Adam (Lloyd) gets Eve but finds out they are sexually incompatible. After Jehovah God refuses his request for multiple sex partners to be created, the Serpent comes down from the tree and convinces him to eat from the Tree of Prostitutes.
🤣
Then Adam/Lloyd blames God for giving him genitals but not teaching him mastery over his penis, and then proceeds to whine at God for hours and claim that God is harassing him and is harming his mental health. After which, God gets fed up and kicks the pair out of the garden, so Adam/Lloyd proceeds to build a new home for himself in a bunker...
Jesus (Lloyd) preaching from the Mount of Olives that the amount of Patrons was pitiful and he'd be forced to dismiss the apostles, giving only two sermons a month. Also blaming the "defamation campaign" on the Pharisees. Known in perpetuity as the "Things Are Bad" sermon on the Mount.
Yes, if it wasn't for the fact that LE is of course an atheist, I'd imagine he'd love to be cast as Jesus (or even God himself). No lowly "servant of God" role for him!
About that video , yep i'm not done yet, when you click on show more, you can see a series of video clips ? to click on with the timeline of wich number you want to watch,.. I don't think He ever done that before , never did that with any interviews or his JW Watch . he does makes sushi of the broadcast or convention but I think there call timeline video clip ? anyway he really wanted people to see that video... he must have paid Tibor extra for that one...well it was for a good cause, SEX...
God (talking to Abraham/Lloyd): "I intend to go down to Sodom and Gomorrah to investigate the reports I hear of sordid depravity"
Abraham/Lloyd (interested): "Really?"
God: “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is great. I shall destroy the towns and their people."
Abraham/Lloyd: "But what if there is just one (self)righteous person who happens to be on a break there for his mental health, enjoying the hospitality of the local sex workers?"
God: "Why do you ask?"
Abraham/Lloyd: "Well, I was thinking of going down there myself for a couple of weeks..."
Jesus relates the parable of the "Cunning Croatian". A man was robbed by thieves and left for dead on the road to Jericho. Two Levites pass and do nothing. Lloyd Evans passes and takes note of the sad scene. Seeing an opportunity to fundraise, he takes out his smartphone and tweets out graphic pics of the man suffering on the side of the road:
"It really angers me when robbers beat a man and there is no justice! I am utterly ashamed of humanity! I'd help him myself, but I have no money because of the defamation campaign and the need to purchase filming equipment. Will you help? www.paypal.com/cedars"
Lloyd gets 30,000 shekels wired to his Paypal account from concerned supporters. He then takes the man to the Jericho Motel 6, bandages him himself, and has Tiborus film his new documentary: "The Jericho Escape". He leaves the wounded man with some bottled water and Cheetos and promises to check up in a week with a followup documentary. Lloyd and Tiborus check into the Jericho Royal Hilton and enjoy excursions to the Dead Sea for a mental health break since this experience has left them so traumatised.
Jesus relates the parable of the "Cunning Croatian".
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I love it! Keep 'em coming! (That's what Cara said...)
