Phone Calll From My Brother -- He's Reinstated!

by Bendrr 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  Bendrr

  Frank, I think that is happening more often than we really know. In some of my conversations with my mom I have seen that deep down inside she is now unsure of some of the core beliefs that she and my stepdad passed down to me whilst in the Empire. Of course she - and my other family still "in" - won't come out and say they're unsure or doubting but the lack of certainty is there nonetheless.

  It all comes down to the old "where else will we go" argument that so many of us have seen all too often. Where else are my parents to go? They're in their 50's now, with no secular safety net for retirement except for Social Security and my brother and I. The only friends they have are Jehovah's Witnesses. My brother may be a successful contractor but he's got just slightly more social skills than I do and guess what? All of his friends and potential marriage mates in his eyes are in the Empire.

  Don't lose heart my friend. That definitely ain't the attitude of just a few in the Empire, otherwise we wouldn't see the hardliners cracking the whip like they are right now. It's the attitude of a great many.

  I've read back over the responses on this thread and get the feeling that some consider me to be in some kind of minority. Well I'm not unique or in any kind of minority in my situation. Not by a long shot. (Metatron, I wish you'd jump in on this thread!) There's a million of me out there, it's just that most of them aren't willing to come out and say what's going on. I know full well that Brooklyn monitors this board and that at any time someone could do a little checking on my name, which I've given freely, and my parents and brother could be in front of a group of Theocratic Police. It's a risk I'm willing to take that others aren't.

  When I post about talking to my parents or my brother, I do so in the hopes that others will take a little hope from my own stories and start trying to rebuild lost relationships with their own families. All you gotta do is try folks, and keep on trying. They're your family for cryin out loud! What's more important than family?!

  Mike.
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  DannyBear

  Mike,

  ***It all comes down to the old "where else will we go" argument that so many of us have seen all too often. ***

  Boy, you are so right. Very happy to hear about your continued relationship with your brother. That is just great.

  Your mentioning that there is hope for family members is really true. I thought I would probable never have a chance to have a relationship with my daughters, but in the last year my oldest has opened up and we talk at least once or twice a week.

  I hope your right about a softening up within the ranks.......even if it doesn't reflect the attitude of the old geezers in Brooklyn.

  Your post just topped off the fun we were having on Daves cussing thread! Iam smiling even more.

  Danny
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  teejay

  Yo, Mike,
  
  My eyes water to hear about you and your little brother. You may be proud of him, but he has every reason to be proud (and lucky) to have you for a big brother looking out for him and being there for him no matter what. As the baby boy of the fam whose two older brothers (one a hardcore JW and the other a hardcore orthodox Muslim) have little to do with me, your post here is very heartwarming.
  
  I must take issue with you, though, when you said:
  
  ... some consider me to be in some kind of minority. Well I'm not unique or in any kind of minority in my situation.
  
  and
  
  When I post about talking to my parents or my brother, I do so in the hopes that others will take a little hope from my own stories and start trying to rebuild lost relationships with their own families. All you gotta do is try folks, and keep on trying.
  
  There may be many or an increasing number of Dubs who are reaching out to ex-JW family members... I can't say. But from my experience I would say that you ARE in the minority. To have a relationship with your (JW) brother takes more than a willingness on your part. Your brother has to want it, too.
  
  In your case, he does. In many other cases, the loyal Dub has no interest and no motivation in breaking JW rules and having a relationship with their "apostate" family member, no matter what the ex-Dub feels. I believe it's good to keep hoping and, within reasonable limits, to try to keep the relationship going, but ultimately it takes two to make it work.
  
  Anyway... it's good to hear about you two. That's exactly the way it should be between brothers. Good for you, Mike! :)