Were you beaten as a child?

by purrpurr 64 Replies latest jw experiences

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  konceptual99

  Reading these horrifying and disgusting accounts makes me realise I got off lightly.

  My dad would smack us with his hand and sometimes a slipper or sometimes a cane, Only once do I recall being bruised but I made sure he knew he had done that and have never forgiven him for it.

  I suppose I should be thankful that he never hit out randomly and never punched or kicked or anything like that. He did not use physical punishment that much and I don't remember enduring being hit that many times.

  This was in the 1970s and society in general was quite alright with hitting kids as a punishment so I don't blame him for being a product of the culture he was in however I do blame him for not having the common sense and simple humanity to see through it and change his choice of behaviour.

  I regret to say that when I became a parent I did smack my first child on three or four occasions with my hand. I bitterly regretted it and it very quickly dawned on my that I had to find another way. For one, what was I, a grown man, doing hitting a small child? Secondly, what was I teaching my child - on the one hand teaching them to be non-violent whilst using violence on them? Thirdly, where would this go as they grew up - at some point I would have to stop using smacking as a control mechanism so what would I do then?

  No amount of reasoning could mitigate for my actions. I had only done it a very few times. I had never done "six of the best", just once or twice. It had not been with anywhere near the ferocity of what I had experienced. I had not lashed out. This was all just meaningless when contrasted with the idiocy of smacking.

  The worst thing was the whole "not doing it anger" bulls***. Great - you've not lashed out and punched your kid. Instead you've calmed down then quite happily got angry enough again (and no parent just hits when they are calm) to decide to hit your kid. What utter nonsense.

  I still see Witness parents using physical punishment. I note the organisation has moderated it's "counsel" on the subject but has not made any statement to say that smacking is wrong and should not be done in any circumstance. At some point I hope they will make this clear as there are still plenty of parents who can't see to work it out for themselves.
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  purrpurr

  I had to tell my mother what paragraph I was planning to answer up on in the WT, then when that paragraphs question was asked my mother would roll up her WT and smack me with it to " make sure I remembered to answer "! I rebelled when I was a teenager and flatly refused to answer at all if she did this
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  disillusioned 2

  Spare the rod and spoil the child! Was taken literally back in 50s and 60s, especially by my father. Above the mirror in our living room was a bat, a cricket bat! On it at the front was a picture of a little deer and walking behind it was a bear. The writing on it said "for the poor little deer with the bear behind"! This was bought for my dad by a  'kind' brother whom he was studying with. Whether it was a bought as a joke I do not know, but my dad took the scripture 'spare the rod and spoil the child' literally and often used this bat on our bare bottoms.

  It was constantly there as a reminder of what we would get if we were naughty. My dad never stayed a witness for long but continued to physically punish us. Before we would get hit he would explain to us why we were going to be punished. He never did it in anger.

  We were never hit at the meetings. My mother never hit us.

  I saw a young brother at the meetings who smacked his baby in his arms on the hand for crying, I was shocked and thought he was disgusting. Many children were taken out by their parents and spanked for not being quiet.
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  konceptual99

  Before we would get hit he would explain to us why we were going to be punished. He never did it in anger.

  He might have appeared calm but I defy any parent to be completely calm and then get a hand, slipper, bat, belt or whatever and physically hit their child. You have to make yourself angry to some degree or have some kind of mental problem - neither is right or defensible.

  I saw a young brother at the meetings who smacked his baby in his arms on the hand for crying, I was shocked and thought he was disgusting. Many children were taken out by their parents and spanked for not being quiet.

  It is still happening now.
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  Lisbet

  My mother was physically abused by her father and stepmother growing up so she was very careful with me. I did get spanked on occasion, and slapped across the face by my father when I mouthed off (it happened once as an adult and I swore to myself that if it ever happened again I would call the cops).

  But in the Hall I grew up in--to this day I can still hear the crying and screaming coming from the bathrooms. My friend and her siblings would get hit if they didn't comment at the meetings (surprise, surprise they all left the "truth" the moment they turned 18). And when I was a teenager I heard my mother make a comment about one family where it was obvious that they beat their kids, that if they hadn't been Witnesses someone would probably have called child services on them. But since they were Witnesses, no one wanted to bring "reproach on Jehovah's name".