My experience with the people in my hall

by Freeandclear 37 Replies latest jw experiences

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  LongHairGal

  FREEANDCLEAR:

  I am glad things went well for you in the Witness world...Sometimes it does if you have the "right" personality and don't notice too much.

  I would have to say that while not everybody in the religion was "bad" or awful to me, the underlying attitudes there prevented them from being real friends.

  Pete Zahut said it best: once you go off the carefully programmed JW script and don't read your "lines", the people will take on a different demeanor. You have to go along to get along. It is paranoid conformity.... Anything is wrong, it's your fault. It's not your fault? Keep smiling and get over it.

  There is no beating the system in that religion.

  ATOMANT:

  I love your post. The people have their heads in the sand and are in denial of all the bad in the religion. They are waiting for the fantasy world to come and take all their problems away! It is indeed a lazy way of thinking!
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  GrreatTeacher

  "Paranoid conformity."

  That's a good description.
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  Beth Sarim

  **I love your post. The people have their heads in the sand and are in denial of all the bad in the religion. They are waiting for the fantasy world to come and take all their problems away! It is indeed a lazy way of thinking!??

  It is like they are waiting for some magician with a magic wand to just wave the wand and voila, imaginary problems gone!!!!
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  berrygerry

  The feeling of love was overwhelming and it really changed me as a person and at the time really made me feel like this was God's love in action. Not sure how to feel about it now, but I still think back on that time with joy and appreciation.

  There can be a genuine emotional feeling of love. However, my analysis is that this is a feeling of emotion. Do you tear up at movies. I do, all the time. I tear up with many songs sung at the KH.

  WT is A MASTER at playing on emotion - it is the modus operandi of the organization. Every message from the GB ends with: "The GB loves you very much." Really? If they love every individual very much, should they not, at the least, respond to questions from those loved ones? (Give it a try.)

  http://www.hgi.org.uk/archive/cults.htm

  Why people join cults

  "Cults form and thrive,” says Deikman, “not because people are crazy, but because they have two kinds of wishes. They want a meaningful life, to serve God or humanity; and they want to be taken care of, to feel protected and secure, to find a home. The first motives may be laudable and constructive, but the latter exert a corrupting effect, enabling cult leaders to elicit behaviour directly opposite to the idealistic vision with which members entered the group.

  Usually, in psychiatry and psychology, the wish to be taken care of (to find a home, a parent) is called dependency and this is a rather damning label when applied to adults. Adults are not supposed to be dependent in that way, relying on another as a child would rely on a mother or father. We are supposed to be autonomous, self-sustaining, with the capacity to go it alone. We do recognise that adults need each other for emotional support, for giving and receiving affection, for validation; that is acceptable and sanctioned. But underlying such mature interdependency is the longing of the child, a yearning that is never completely outgrown. This covert dependency — the wish to have parents and the parallel wish to be loved, admired and sheltered by one's group — continues throughout life in everyone. These wishes generate a hidden fantasy or dream that can transform a leader into a strong, wise, protective parent and a group into a close, accepting family. Within that dream we feel secure.”

  Read Steven Hassan's book. It's how high-control groups work.
  
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  Wasanelder Once

  As the slander begins they will soon smell the blood in the water and even the closest friend will badmouth you. Its what they have to do to justify remaining in the cistern that is the WT Org.
  
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  atomant

  yep they can turn into a pack of wolves ready to devour and yet they portray themselves as meek lambs.---quick dolly another one we can clone.
  
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  A.proclaimer

  I'd say overall I've had good experiences with others as well, and I still do since I still go to the meetings. Only very few bad experiences but nothing that's a big deal or really impacting. The main reason is that I keep to myself. I don't know anyone at the hall at a deeper level aside from saying hi and some basic things. Never had close friendships in the congregation. I like to fly under the radar. I remember when I was a kid, my mother told me to keep my distance when it comes to brothers and sisters like she did, because the rumors and things people do.
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  KateWild

  I agree with you that the majority of JWs are loving and sincere. I had a lot of close loved ones. But since I left they don't see me regularly are contact me. If I was to contact them they would talk to me even though I am df'd, but there is no relationship any more.

  I was out to lunch with some work friends and I saw two JWs come in and they sat on the table next to us. I said hello to them and greeted them kindly and they reciprocated. When they left I gave one of them a hug goodbye. They were nice and pleasant but not genuinely interested why I stopped going.

  Is this being nice? What is being nice and genuine?

  Kate xx
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  Landy

  The elders in our hall used to mainly fall into two categories; the 'big fish in a small pool' type, people who hadn't really achieved much in life, but by being an elder had the ability to wield power and judgement. The orher type were the arse lickers, the sycophantic type who would do the bidding of the alpha elders.

  There were exceptions, a couple I can think of that were really nice people but they were generally the exception that proved the rule.

  The rank and file witnesses were generally pretty nice people, no different from a subset of any people really.
• 

  pandorasbox1914

  Freeandclear

  Welcome to your freedom, I also have been lurking for some time and took the plunge 4 days ago on here. I am envious of your experiences with JW's and that it went well for you.

  Sadly for me like so many others it was anything but. I will not go into detail here, but briefly as a MS, I was told by an elder that "...no MS tells me what to do", I uncovered an anomaly with the accounts to do with missing money, the elder made my life hell so that I had to move congregations. But it did not end there he made sure that a bad report was sent to my new congregation, the result no reappointment as I was deemed a bad influence on the congregation. They then proceeded to shun me, my family and friends for the next 20 years, in the end we all had enough and we are all out!

  Our experience is by no means unique, I have heard of much worse in other congregations. So Freeandclear you have been very fortunate and I am pleased that you have not suffered the same as so many others.

  At least now you have seen the light on new light.