ROFLMAO
Love this thread
Rules for Men.....
by termite 35 32 Replies latest social humour
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Francois
The Angelina Jolie answer in #1 above must be modified, since I know for a fact that she is not, repeat NOT, bilaterally symetrical in that area. No bilateral symetry, no tears - end of discussion.
[And I get a spelling freebie tonight on account of the hour and on account of catching that Jolie error]
ft
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termite 35
(((Ross))) hi
((Francois)) So we really do have to be perfect-damn...I thought any slight mamarilly shaped mound would start you men sobbing like a baby....... I have noticed that George Cloony is'nt symetrical either; but hell, who cares, we women ar'nt that fussy
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StinkyPantz
You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her
to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.Hehehee
Termite, thanks for the laugh
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Abaddon
Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.
I operate a very simple rule; anyone who puts me in a situation where I have to hit them will get hit, if possible, in a way that will make hitting them a second time unneccesary. 'Fair fight' is an oxymoron.
The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about
what a big mistake it was.Oh, I didn't feel weird or guilty, but I did have to run out to buy some more condoms before recomencing with the previous nights activities, which was sufficient assurance that neither party involved thought it THAT big a mistake...
monk3y: you might not have to follow those rules, but you've got a different set to worry about! Like a friend I have who has to figure if the club she wants to go to is one where anyone not conforming to Lesbian fashion rules will get treated like they are not serious about their sexuality. As she says, sometimes a girl just feels like wearing a pretty floral dress...
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Englishman
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink
as much as the other sports watchers."My Missus explained the offside rule to Jst2laws clearly and concisely. Incredible, a woman to an American?
Something tells me that Termite could probably do the same, eh?
Englishman.
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termite 35
((Eman)) the offside rule is...when...the French mustard has to be between...the teraki sauce...and the sea salt
well done to HL -i'm sure it was clearer than this ...
Offside is when the attacking player is in the defending team's half of the pitch and he's nearer to the goal line than a defender at the moment the ball is played to him...
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Simon
Offside is when the attacking player is in the defending team's half of the pitch and he's nearer to the goal line than a defender at the moment the ball is played to him...
Oooh ... close
There have to be two of the opposing team (could be two strikers) between* the opposition team** and the goal line when the ball is played forward
* or level with
** unless they are deemed not to be interfering with play
(please god, let this be correct )
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funkyderek
Yes, the dreaded "does this make me look fat" question and others of that ilk
The funny answer to that is: "No, all the cream cakes you've been wolfing down make you look fat". At least, I thought it was funny....
The offside rule is explained here: http://www.burtrandworld.co.uk/offside-rule.php
Women should learn this if they want to really impress men.
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Englishman
Well I happen to know that Termite has some strong football connections, but it's up to the lassie hersekf if she wants to talk about it.
I was very lucky in HL, she is the only girl amongst football mad brothers and now still the only girl amongst football mad sons. When I finally asked her out she asked me if we could go to see Portsmouth against Nottingham Forest. We won 2 - 0, back in '73.
Englishman.