You have a pm Blues ...
What Do You Do if the Household Does Not Celebrate?
by BluesBrother 22 Replies latest jw friends
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Good JW
@BluesBrother - Yes the grass is always greener on the other side. I decided not to think like that anymore and make the most of what I have. It sucks to be "in-between", not feeling like you belong (or limbo as some have described), but all I can do now is laugh at the situation and appreciate the peculiar nature of social customs/culture (sometimes very silly and illogical, but that's human nature). I try to look ahead and not kid myself. You know, some people may try to fake it, getting into a "Christmas spirit", but it's just not natural for me growing up in the org. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to be something that I'm not, no more pretending/pressure to conform (had enough of that in the org).
Looking forward to Christmas being just between my wife and me - and kids when the time is right. We put children off for some time for the sake of getting our lives/mind to level/balance (4-5 years outside the org now and starting to feel normalacy again!). There's consolation knowing that we can allow our children to feel part of the "magical" nature of Christmas etc, so they won't feel abnormal or uneasy. I do miss my JW family, but thankfully they are starting to warm to me again - at the start they were still pretty fearful of "apostate contamination". So little by little I can get some socialisation back with people I can relate to, all excpept the religion aspect (which I now accept).
By the way, yesturday went alright thanks! Better than expected. It was tiring but nothing over the top, pretty relaxed atmosphere. It makes you appreciate family more though, and "family" are not only relatives, which sadly in my case the in-laws and I are like chalk and cheese lol. Even though I no longer have my JW beliefs, I still find myself relating to the JWs in many things, and appreciating their nature (especially the ones I grew up with). In that respect I clearly see both sides of the coin and can confidently say to any inbetween ex JWs that life which is completely free from WT is the same sh*t but a different pile haha. That's not to sound negative, just a bit of realism, which hopefully can contribute towards improving one's emotional health (i.e. no brooding over what we don't have because of unrealistic expectations, but rather, making the most of what we do).
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undercover
It's weird how the actual Xmas day leaves me feeling somewhat out of touch with everything and everyone around me. It's like I'm in a void. The couple of weeks leading up to Xmas aren't bad, I actually go to parties in the neighborhood, 'worldly' friends, the office. I partake in the spirit of it all, join in as best I can. But the actual day... It's as you described it BB. I don't fit in (nor want to) with the JW family attitude of shunning the holiday, nor am I part of the masses celebrating. I'm in a twilight zone state.
But, at the same time, I realize that not everyone lives 'A Christmas Story' life, no matter how many times they show the movie on TV. I acknowledge that there are lots of people who don't really 'celebrate' Xmas as you see on TV, in the ads, or the movies, yet for some weird reason, I actually pine for a time that has never existed for me.
My Xmas tradition now is that I usually go to the movies on Xmas day. A couple of hours of Star Wars or James Bond escapism until tomorrow when I go back to the office...