I would like advice from the women on this forum

by Eric 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Eric

  I am now loathe to respond as it will bring this topic back up the page, and I would rather this debacle die a quiet death. I'd delete the damn thing if I could. But the responses warrant a reply, and apologies.

  little witch,

  I just think your post was odd, and that you were trying to take advantage of female posters for dubious reasons.

  You made an obvious attempt to entice female posters to email you, and I said ''dont hold your breath"

  Egad. Farthest thing from my mind. Didn't even occur to me that my request would be seen this way, but I do see it now. In fact it's obvious now.

  My situation is something I am discussing with the female friends in my life, and they are intrigued and very helpful. We have little group sessions where we hash this and other personal topics out, and I've learned a lot from them and they appreciate the male point of view on some of their issues as well.

  But the one thing missing is an understanding of the x-JW backdrop, and I honestly thought I might find some of that here.

  My tone with you was one of lack of respect. For that I humbly apologise, and I thank you for exposing me to the idea that my post could be seen as duplicitous.

  Stacy and Arrow: I would never trust anyone that pulls this. heck that is how I ended up with a stalker for over a year.

  SheilaM,

  Again, Egad! How could I be so blind?

  No amount of justification from me is going to undo this.

  I can only state that I was being honest and forthright, and had no ulterior motive, and to back that up I request that no one respond to my email address.

  My request for responses is rescinded, but those who have responded can expect a respectful reply.

  Perhaps hanging out in chat here and conversing with women who interest you would be an easier way to get to know someone. Also, make use of the private message feature. The worst that can happen is that they'll say no.

  SevenofNine,

  It was never about trying to meet someone or anyone here. If I were to want that, I'd be open and up front about it. I have no problem doing that. The whole of my interest lies elsewhere, it's just a bit of a delicate situation, and I just didn't want to open up about it on a public board.

  My mistake, I've come across as some rude deviate trying to score with some backdoor endrun, when what I really wanted was an x-JW female perspective on a private matter.

  Still, your advice is the best so far, I can try to see what happens in chat. I can only hope it doesn't come across as a come-on there.

  Eric
• 

  stillajwexelder

  Eric from the male persepective -- (me) you have been humble, you have appologized even though you meant no harm -- good on you -- well done - that is Christian
• 

  Eric

  Well thanks, exelder.

  What you said goes a long way for me.

  I will just have to struggle along with the advice of the real women in my life.

  That ain't so tough.

  Eric
• 

  micheal

  From a totally nuetral perspective. Wow people were really quick to jump on you Eric, what's next tarred and feathered. My goodness?!
• 

  moonwillow

  Hhhmm and why do people lurk in fear that if they post this may happen to them. Can you blame them.
• 

  SixofNine

  michael and moonwillow, it was very odd. One commonality of users is that their ability to use is almost non-existant in public, due to the fact that they will most often be called on their behaviour.

  That doesn't mean that it's impossible for Eric to have a legitimate reason for this... but it's just very hard to imagine. Hence the "fur up".
• 

  talesin

  Hey, Eric

  I sent you a PM yesterday with a hot-mail addy. No message yet.

  Just wanted to let everyone know (the doubters as well as supporters). I didn't like you getting attacked, so I did something about it.

  Where is your story? I will keep it confidential, but if you really want advice, why aren't you e-mailing me?

  from

  talesin

  (who feels we should not criticize and automatically assume bad things about people, but give them a chance)
• 

  happyout

  Eric,

  That was a great apology, and I for one don't think you have ulterior motives. You were quick to understand why some women expressed concern, and that was really gentlemanly of you. Plus, I loved your response on the romance thread

  FYI, I have an alias e-mail account that contains no personal information, and I only use it from my work computer, so it can't be traced to my home system. I understand why you might want to back out, but if you would like you can e-mail me there. Let me know if you are interested, and I will PM you.

  Good luck with your issue.

  Happyout
• 

  talesin

  happyout

  Is Eric sincere? I dunno, since I sent him MY e-mail (via PM) yesterday and not a peep outta him.

  tal
• 

  teejay

  Interesting.

  I understand the position Little Witch took and came THIS CLOSE to being in total, 100% agreement with it. In this day and age, her response to Eric’s unusual request makes nothing but perfect sense. Stalkers lurk in unsuspecting places, and vulnerable people have every right to be suspiciously on guard. Still...

  ... when I went back to read it from another quite possible, even likely, perspective – where Eric meant absolutely no harm but was simply a man in search of specific help – I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. And for us. It’s a sad state of affairs to be forced to admit that we live in a time when common, ordinary interactions amongst people must so often be carefully scripted less some tragedy strikes.

  Like Happyout, I was quite impressed with Eric’s tender response on the romance thread. It revealed a sensitive, caring man, I thought. That manly side of him was shown yet again and even more powerfully in his admission here of having not thought thru carefully enough his innocent request; and his profuse apologies for any he might have offended here.

  It’s a shame that we are forced to be slightly suspicious of people, as I am of men and women alike who (innocently?) reach out to my awfully precocious young daughter as we ride our bikes thru the neighborhood or spend time at the mall and other public places. “Are they really sincere? Can I really trust them?” It’s a thought never far from my mind as I keep a steady eye on harmless, well-meaning strangers.

  Makes me sad. What a world we’re living in, eh? Not the one I grew up in, that’s for sure.

  _________

  “Why were the former days better than these? It is not according to wisdom that you have asked about this.” – somewhere in the bible; Ecclesiastes, I think