Hi, my introduction.....finally.

by MonkeyPrincess 51 Replies latest jw experiences

  • MonkeyPrincess
    MonkeyPrincess

    I have been reading posts for a while, but everytime i try and post my intro, i dont know what to say, so i suppose i will just write what comes to me.

    Lets see, i was born and raised in the "truth", i have never known anything else my whole life, so this is weird for me to think differently. I was df'd about 4 years ago when i met my "worldly" husband, i have tried for the past 2 years to be reinstated, but i guess that i have not tried hard enough, according to the elders (who btw have not been very nice or loving toward me). I have basically given up, and at the same time discovered that this is not really the "truth" and not what i beleive, and certainly not something i am going to teach my 19 month old. To tell you the truth, i am still struggling with this, it feels like my head is spinning, i feel deceived and stupid, especially for taking it for what i have been told and not looking into it myself. The difficulty i am facing now is that my parents and sisters will not talk to me ever again when they find this out, they are really devout JW's. I have such a close relationship with them, that it will hurt so much when i have to cross that bridge. I have lost many friends when i was df'd, and now will lose my family. Its such a difficult thing to deal with. But as my therapist says "they are the one's making the choice". My husband is so supportive of anything i do, and he is also the one (along with my therapist) that opened my eyes to other things, as well as this site and all your expriences and research has helped alot. So i am thankful that you are all here to be a support and somewhere i can come when i dont have anyone else to talk to that understands. I will post alot more now, its just this first step thats the hardest. Thanks for reading!

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    Hi, MonkeyPrincess, and welcome to the board.

  • smack
    smack

    Hi Monkey, welcome. You are at the worst part of your journey through life. Read all the responses and

    use whatever helps you. All of us have had some experience with what you are going through. It would be

    great if family bonds were stronger than the borgs hold. My parents and I had a falling out when I left, but they

    tracked me down and apologised for it. That was over 20 years ago. Puttytat is having success and posting the results,

    so take heart from that. Make sure your hubby knows ALL that your are thinking, non dubs have a hard time understanding

    the amount of damage done by those stupid men in NY. Don't give up

    Steve

  • Pepper
    Pepper

    Yeah I know the feeling, it feels like the first time, you post then the earth will open up and Satan will come out an call you an apostate and bite you on the ass.

    But trust me its OK to voice your feelings, remember you live the good old U S of A good men died so you could voice your feelings in an open forum like this with in reason.

    God Bless America ... Pepper

  • Perry
    Perry

    Hi Monkey,

    Welcome. As you already know, countless others have been separated from their families also. The cold hard truth is that as a JW, you are only loved as long as you pose no threat to the piety and mass illusion of superiority among Jehovah's Witnesses.

    Unfortunately, the more you and your husband grow as a happy family, the more you are likely to be shunned even more. JW's like to form relationships with the illusion of things.... the illusion of God as presented in the WTBS, the illusion of a friend simply because they can parrot the same canned answers, the illusion of love through the break up of the family unit.

    As you grow personally and God forbid have a happy life, the illusion of your persona will represent a threat to their worldview. Their illusion of superority will be threatened.

    About the only way to be a non witness and still get what appears to be genuine attention from family is to be on drugs, don't hold a job, get a veneral disease, or heaven forbid ... go to them for guidance. They feel much better in the presence of people who are lost.

    You are beginning to shed those illusions and to live in reality. Congratulations and know that many people have gone before you on this journey. You are very lucky to have such an understanding and supportive husband. And that is no illusion.

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    Welcome MonkeyPrincess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Nice to have you here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hope to see more from you honey!

    Love,

    Jes

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    Welcome ... and ... Thanks G$!\% ! You're out of the WTBS system

  • rocketman
    rocketman

    Hi MP, welcome!

    Your therapist put it well : "they are the ones making the choice"...let's hope it doesn't come to that.

    Your hubby sounds great, very supportive. That helps a lot

  • avengers
    avengers

    Most of us on this board have been through what you're going through. I tell you it's rough.You are in a tough part of the journey.
    When I lost the "truth" I also lost my supposed friends and some family.
    Just to let you know you're not alone here.
    And I know for a fact it gets better.
    The more you learn about the WT the more you come to the conclusion you made the right decision.

    Happy hunting.

    Andy

  • caspian
    caspian

    Welcome. Monkey.

    Cas

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