JW's 'acting badly'.

Steve Lowry

The worst experience I think I ever had with JW’s ‘acting badly’ was one time when a good friend of mine (a former JW like myself) Tom, had a JW cousin in the hospital due to a very bad car accident. His cousin (a woman in her late thirties) had suffered severe head trauma and it was not known at that time if she would recover. Practically all of Tom’s immediate and extended family was JW’s. The hospital was one of my business accounts and I told him the next time I was there (which was practically daily) I would visit the family and offer any support I could. My friend was pretty tore up about the whole thing and thanked me for my concern.

When I visited the family in the waiting room a couple of days later, I told them I was a friend of Tommy’s and if there was anything I could do for them, I would be glad to. They were JW’s of course and didn’t know I had once been one myself. But that didn’t really matter, to me anyway. I just wanted to offer any help I could. At first the parents were very receptive and appreciative, but soon I started to notice that JW "look" of suspicion from the father. The father asked me how I knew Tommy, and I had to think fast as I had actually met Tom at a former JW get together. So I said I knew Tommy from church. (Uh, not to bright!) Well, the parents thought Tom had sent someone to the hospital from "Babylon The Great" to try and "witness" to the family during their time of crisis. My friend said when he got home that night the phone never stopped ringing. Every JW in his entire family (just about), called to complain and bitch about my visit. How dare Tom send someone from a "church" to visit his JW family! My friend got so pissed that he stopped talking to all of them. The whole thing caused a serious rift in a family that was already doomed, due to the Watchtower Society’s crap. I felt like shit (sorry) and regretted ever going to the hospital. Tom wouldn’t admit to it, but I know he felt some resentment towards me cuz of all the crap my visit started. I was made to feel like a total ass, all because I stopped by to offer some emotional support to a friend’s family in a hospital. Unbelievable.

God help me if I ever get so suspicious that I can’t see the genuine care and concern from somebody else just because they don’t ‘fit’ my ideology.

Steve . . .

kgfreeperson

Geez.

Euphemism

Sounds like a classic case of projection. Because that's exactly the sort of crap the JWs might pull on someone else.

Steve Lowry

I guess I'm not the only one who can't sleep (Smile).

Ya know, I'm quite sure they felt justified by their actions (since the Watchtower Society is so willing to help JW's justify their bad behavior), but I wish they could see how they look from my perspective. Even better, I would like to show a person who may be interested in becoming a JW, this type of behavior. This is the kinda stuff people don't get to see at the door. When I experience crap like this with a JW, it’s a good reminder of why I left in the first place.

Steve . . .

lisavegas420

I've got one for you.....This past summer my mom was in the hospital for surgery, this was one of the very few times over the years that I have heard from either of my parents. At some point, I asked my mom if anyone had been to the hospital to visit her, after she hemm hawwed around and finally said a couple pioneers had been by. One of these pioneer sisters had a bible study in the hospital, so they stopped by my mom's room, since they were at the hospital anyway. A few days later I called again to see how my mom was doing, this time I talked to my dad and asked him the same question, has any of the brothers or sisters been to the hospital to see mom, He said, they are very busy with putting up a new kingdom hall.

When my husbands mother was in the hospital, her room and the waiting room always had church people their. 24-7 Sometimes just one member, sometimes 50+ people.

Lisa

CaptainSchmideo

We were involved in a horrific accident involving our (then) three year old son. At the emergency room, the receptionist reached out with some comfort by telling me that she had called all her "prayer partners" (kinda like chain mail to God.) At first, even then!, my JW forcefield started to raise up, until I made myself realize that this lady was just performing an act of kindness. I still am touched when I think back on this, seven years later.

Meanwhile, back at my Own flock...one family, who I have known for years, and I thought were my friends, would ask me if I intentionally threw my child out of the car, and that they had often thought of doing the same when the kids got out of line, yuk yuk yuk. It was an incredible contrast.

Makes one wonder who really does appreciate the sanctity of life, if attitudes can get that "flip" amongst JWs....

BTW, my son is almost ten now, and aside from some (relatively) minor scars, is doing just fine. But that was too &%$&%$* close on that day!

blacksheep

On a hospital related note, my brother in law (an elder) who lives about 5 miles away from me, was in a traumatic accident a few months ago. My JW parents contacted me (from out of town) and said that they would be going to the hospital. My sister was in such anguish that she couldn't tell them what hospital he was in; I helped them sort that out and told them I would be going to the hospital as well. When I got there, there was a whole crowd of people (all JWs), which sounds like it's wonderful support, but actually my sister and her family were overwhelmed: it was too many people, and she just wanted family: giving everyone all the updates on my BIL's condition was too much.

An elder I used to know actually said it was "sweet" of me to come to the hospital and show such concern. What? "Sweet" of me? This was my family, my blood family who was suffering, and because I'm disassociated, coming to aid and support my family during time of tragedy, is "sweet." Made me sick. It's as though he was really saying that the whole congregation was his family, not mine.

Ugh. Maybe it seems petty, but it really galled me to think that showing normal concern for one's FAMILY was above and beyond a non-JW.

Elsewhere

Ever since I resigned from the book publishing corporation, my family has shunned me per the instructions of the company. What is sick is that every few months I get a pathetic message in my voice mail from my elder dad... he says he wants to "check to make sure I have sustenance and covering".

If he really cared, he would not be shunning me to begin with.

No way in hell am I going to answer a phone call from that ass hole after the way he has treated me.

Maverick

This whole thing brought back to mind an incident involving my disfellowship wife, we were going through a divorce and I was an MS in good standing at the time. She had moved in with a JW friend and got very sick and had to have surgery. I brought my then 13 year old daughter to see her Mom at the hospital. I sat in the waiting room. The duds came and went to see the wife and gave me dirty looks! Not one of them walk the twenty feet to the end of the hallway to talk to me. It was like I was in a parallel universe where I was the DF'd one and she was in good standing. The cracks were starting to show! Maverick, You can't win when you play with lunatics!

Swan

It was amazing to me to discover how much "worldly people" actually care about one another. I guess I had always believed the JW rhetoric about how they really didn't care, were selfish, disloyal, lovers of pleasure. Maybe it was easy to believe because subconsciously I had some JWs as examples.

Instead, I found people passing the hat for people they hardly knew who had been caught or lost in tragic circumstances. I found people working to collect food. I found others (my company co-workers) donating coats and jackets for homeless people in Portland. I drove meals on wheels to shut-ins and elderly on Thanksgiving day. I found some people volunteering for AIDS victims and drove countless miles around the valley delivering food. I was part of a group who made hospital visits. I was part of one group who gave generously in a toy drive for homeless teens staying in a counseling center/shelter.

These groups weren't doing this for recognition, converts, praise, glory, write-offs, or prestige. They just did it because of the compassion they felt for those who had less than they did. These "worldly people" sure opened my eyes. I was proud to be doing it too.

Tammy

JW's 'acting badly'.

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