Sorry to hear,give him a hug from us,okies?
two deaths and no calls...
by detective 24 Replies latest social family
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garybuss
Withholding notification of deaths seems to be a favorite Witness dirty trick. Back in the 90's during my fractional shunning period, my mother happened to mention that my cousin had died three months before. I was shocked and I asked her why didn't anybody tell me? She said in her snottiest tone, "We didn't think you'd care!".
He wasn't even a Witness and lived in a different state. It was just a piece of information she had access to and I didn't. She was even taking control of my access to non-Witness relatives. I think it's terrible. Sorry for your losses. I relate. GaryB -
berylblue
I'm so sorry, Detective. I am so fortunate none of my family are JWs . Most are jerks, but religion has nothing to do with it.
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blondie
http://ssdi.genealogy.rootsweb.com/
For those looking for relatives that you suspected may have died, use the above website.
I figure if my mother dies, no one will call and I'm "only" inactive. I check the obits everyday (can be done online too). What a nasty way to hurt people deliberately, a means of control, as Gary points out. There certainly is no Christian golden rule being applied, do unto others as you would have them do to you.
Blondie
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detective
Thanks for your thoughts. On some level, my friend still believes he deserves that sort of treatment. He feels always the cad for leaving the group. As a result, he always felt a little ashamed.
He tried half-heartedly to defend his father's actions by saying that his father was doing what he believed was right but even he wasn't really convinced and he eventually left it at a deeply saddened, "he should have called".
My friend has a very small family. Losing two people in it, although not immediate family, has a staggering impact. They were his connection to something larger than his dysfunctional witness immediate family.
Loss is so hard. I'm sorry for you folks who have gone through this. It isn't about the witness sense of propriety. It isn't about witnesses struggling to do the right thing.
It's about cruelty. Plain and simple.
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frenchbabyface
I know ... and I've read lots of your stories ... witnessed how those JWs withnesses are ... but I'm still always chocked !!!
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nilfun
How awful. Sending my sympathy to your friend, coupled the hope that he will soon realize that, no, he does not deserve that kind of cruelty.
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Stacy Smith
My mom was very angry last year when one of our older jw friends passed away and no one told us about it. She was ready to lash out against every witness that used to call her friend. But dad told her that they were just as brainwashed as we were and to please continue to show them love so they'd finally have a good example in their lives.
I'm sorry to hear all of these sad stories. It's a shame that they behave this way. Don't you all blame the society much more than the individuals? I know we all share responsibility for our actions but I don't hate them for this as much as I hate the society.
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czarofmischief
what a bunch of stupid, snotheaded people. It's all about controlling information with them.
CZAR
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detective
I'm with ya, Czar.
It's brutal.