I wish I knew the original source of this article. It appears to be written by an American. Thought I would share it, as I am proud of Canada.
It's not just the weather that's cooler in Canada
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud
music or throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just
smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his
house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his
front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there.
And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends
his weekends at peace marches and that guy you've seen mowing the yard is
his spouse.
Allow me to introduce Canada.
The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up
there, but they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like
discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been
building an espresso machine.
Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-along
brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn't willing, as
it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner
menus weren't angrily changed to include "freedom bacon," because nobody
here eats the stuff anyway.
And then there's the wild drug situation: Canadian doctors are
authorized to dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering
legislation that would not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may
have heard, but would reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to
a fine, like a speeding ticket. This is to allow law enforcement to
concentrate resources on traffickers; if your garden is full of wasps, it's
smarter to go for the nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug.
Or, in the United States, bong.
Now, here's the part that I, as an American, can't understand. These
poor benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have a drug problem:
Marijuana offenses have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun
control laws, which means that the criminals must all be heavily armed, the
law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive
confiscation campaign. (The laws have been in place since the '70s, but I'm
sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.) They
don't even have a death penalty!
And yet ... nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining
since 1991. Violent crimes fell 13 percent in 2002. Of course, there are
still crimes committed with guns -- brought in from the United States, which
has become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America --
but my theory is that the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most criminals
too relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more focused on
shoplifting boxes of Ho-Hos from convenience stores.
And then there's the most reckless move of all: Just last month,
Canada decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose,
what can they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get
their man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the only
ones who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they all have
health insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up north.
This sort of behavior is a clear and present danger to all our
stereotypes about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country of
polite, beer-drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom-fighters in a
bloody revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists more
interested in order and good government than liberty and independence.
But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so much of
our time trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if Canadians are
so reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about letting people
do what they want to?
Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to
polls. As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large,
well-organized religious groups and thus has more in common with those of
Scandinavia than those of the United States, or, say, Iran.
Canada signed the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds
drink, has more of its population living in urban areas and accepts more
immigrants per capita than the United States.
These are all things we've been told will wreck our society. But I
guess Canadians are different, because theirs seems oddly sound.
Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really
demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult -- more
secure. They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of
homosexuality. Most of all, they're not afraid of each other.
I wonder if America will ever be that cool.