by ignorance is strength 40 Replies latest jw experiences
Sorry for what I said, I was just answering the question about the less than stellar childhood due to isolation and missed holidays.
That's about all that went wrong for me.
I meant to bring attention to the ones that REALLY had it bad, like Lady Lee, puttytat, Josh and countless others.
I really am sorry
Steve
Steve,
I can see no need for an apology from you - you raised a valid point. Our understanding of things 'good' and 'bad 'needs to be viewed from a wide perspective. What may have been viewed as a lousy childhood by some, would may have well suited others just fine, and would have only been too thankful to have egaged in.
cheeses
smack sorry if my smack was harsh. I do agree that how we perceive our pasts is relative and I also agree that focusing on the negative doesn't help. Maybe it was the pain I'm still in from the surgery cuz I ususally don't give responses like that
yesidid
Were your parents witnesses?
Long answer: The abuse in my family started from day 1. My parents separated when I was 9 and I stayed with my father. My mother started studying when I was 11. I went to live with her at that time. After a year I was sent to foster care for 3 years and then went back to my mother when I had just turned 16. I was baptized at 17, married to a new dub at 18 .... and left when I was 33
I did have it rough as well. Childhood, yeah, what the hell is that? But now as an adult, I do realize it could have been much worse. When I find myself thinking about what I missed out on, the adventures I could of had, I stop and think that there is always someone who had it just a bit worse than I did. Then I am thankful that my childhood wasn't any worse. I'm here now, I can do some things to right the wrongs...and make myself happy along the way.
Some of can't remember anything good because we were just trying to surviveI grew up in a home where we were screamed at daily, beaten daily, sexually abused, neglected, ignored, locked in rooms or closets and that is the mild stuff. Going to bed was a prayer to die and not wake up to another day of hell. Waking up was with the surety of another nightmare to live through.
We got kittens once - that felt good until my father forced us to watch while he drowned them and then told us if we weren't good he would do the same to us.
I got a new dress once - and had to pay for it with sexual favors - at 10 years old
Some of lived a nightmare Finding good things comes now as we create them in the present.
Lady Lee,
You obviously had a terrible childhood. I am so sorry.
My problem is that from what you said, your father never was a witness and you were only with your witness mother for one year.
To be absolutely fair do you think your reply could have been a little misleading.
You posted your awful experience under the thread.
Raised a JW... did you have a childhood?
It appears that although your experiences were heart wrenching they had nothing to do with Jehovah’s witnesses.
Correct me if I am wrong.
What I just said neither negates the truth of your dreadful childhood or suggests that many witness children did not also have an abominable childhood.
I just feel we should be fair. There are many things about that organization, we can without any exaggeration, condemn as wrong. I think we should stay on that firm, fair position.
yesidid
Yesidid it is a fair question. My answer:
No my father wasn't a witness. My parents separated when I was 9 and I stayed with my father. When he was reported for incest I went to live with my mother who was studying with the witnesses. (almost 12 years old)
Life did not get better. During the year I lived with her I was sexually abused by her live-in boyfriend (they were both studying) and by her three brothers who were living with us (all baptized). When it was discovered I was sent into foster care for 3 years.(this is the short version for those who have read the story before). I returned to live with her when I was 16. By this time the boyfriend was gone and she was baptized. She too yelled and screamed and beat us. My brothers and sister regularly went to school with whelts and bruises all over them. I got my last beating when I was 17 shortly beofre I got married and left home. To this day my mother will insist I was having an affair with the man she was living with (he was 44, I was 12).
Becoming a JW did not make her better. If anything it made her worse. She now had a religion telling her it was ok to use the rod of discipline on her kids. She went so far as to go to the shoe maker and ask for a leather strap to beat us with and sometimes kept it hanging on a nail near the front room where we had the book study in our home.
I stayed until a few weeks after my 18th birthday. But I stayed the longest. The other kids left at 13, (went to live with my father), 14 (went to live with my father) 15 (went to live on his own, and my sister (15 went into a group home because of the abuse)
When you live with a parent that views children as disposable (leaving them, abandoning them, allowing others to abuse them and abusing them yourself) well no I would still maintain I didn't have much of a childhood
Oh forgot to mention I was forced to quit school at 16 when I went to live with her again so she could get away from her kids and go to work while I stayed home and took care of them. And when I didn't do a good job of it I was beaten for it. Yup all while we were pretending to be good little dubs
So if you want to get technical the childhood stunk but adolescence wasn't much better
I am sorry Lady Lee, had not read your story before or I would not have spoken as I did.
I am very sorry. It is obvious that much of your agony was at the hands of witnesses and I
was wrong in my assumption.
no problem - no offense taken - it was a legitimate question
My story is scattered all over JWD and I sometimes forget not everyone knows that the abuse was a two parter for me
What I cannot get up on my last post is:
Please forgive me.
yesidid
forgiven yesidid
I consider my mother a very sick woman. She has been married (or common law married) to 3 men - all of them sexual abusers. She has her own past but refuses to deal with it. Instead she clings to a religion that tells her she is a good person because she goes to meetings, goes out on service and shuns her daughter. Few JWs know she committed adultery on her last husband or that she falsely accused him of abuse so she could dump him and take his money.
I am angry at the WTS's policies. It was at the elder's suggestion that she send me to foster care when she found out about the continued abuse. She knew and the elders knew he had abused my aunt who was also living with us. They recommended she send my aunt to live with another family member (my aunt Suzanne was my age - I know weird family). So the elders twice recommended sending away the victims and keeping the abuser in the home and in the congregation (even though he was just a study - BTW my aunt was baptized) So he stayed and later they found out he had abused my little sister too. Then he disappeared. Good thing - who knows what the elders would have recommended for a 5 year old
It is a mess made worse by the elders desire that no one should know this was going on. My grandmother and 3 uncles and my aunt were all living in my mother's house (all baptized) because my grandmother had left her husband (also baptized) be court order to protect the 4 children - my aunt and uncles from his physical and sexual abuse). The elders didn't have a choice in protecting the abuser in that situation. The courts made the decision and it was in a different province so I suspect it too was covered up. So my uncles who were sexually abused by their father were moved into my mother's home to repeat the abuse on younger children. And the elders knew it all and kept quiet.
If you check on my name and look at some of my topic history you will see how this is affecting me today
