Awful. We had zero rights. Women are good for cleaning toilets and making babies. We couldn't even be ministerial servants. We got to watch men who were complete assholes have every advantage over us. Our mothers had to cover their heads with 'something' if they presided over a bible study or prayed for the group but we were never taught to carry anything to cover our heads with... so they covered their heads with Kleenexes and shoes and whatever else was handy. How humiliating do you think it is for a woman to have to find something to cover her head with because she is taking the lead when there are only children... but MALE children in the room. It is completely demeaning and despicable.
I was timid and shy but my sisters were outspoken and headstrong, so I was treated the same as them... because women aren't stand alone human beings with their own minds. No we are objects and we can be grouped together as though we have a hive mind. And men.... make despicable objectifying comments about all the women in the congregation and it is completely acceptable. Even now.... on this forum... go find the threads where some jerk male is making fun of weird and funny people and notice how many of those men make fun of women or are fat and awkward and etc. It is disgusting and shows you what they were taught was acceptable ways of treating women.
Look at all the stories where a couple are pulled in for a JC for some romantic something... and notice how often the women get worse treatment than the men. Notice that the JC in and of itself is biased towards women. It is completely different for a man to talk about intimate acts in a room full of men, and a woman having to discuss intimate acts in a room full of men. it is completely inappropriate in any normal social environment but it is acceptable in the JWs.
I saw so much abuse of people in the cult. I personally knew so many women who were beaten and grossly abused by their husbands. My mom, for some unknown reason was always picking these women up after domestic disturbances. And for whatever messed up reason she brought her three daughters with her to help. I've seen broken noses and black eyes. I helped my mom wake women up when they were blacked out on the floor from the beating they took. I've listened to these women cry and weep and be told to pray about it. I've heard the abject misery in their voices when describing how elders tell them it is their fault because they aren't being wifely enough, or they aren't being what God wants them to be. And I've watched those very men get more and more privileges for no good reason. I've watched and heard elders talk about what good men they are because they give such good donations to the cult. I've seen how not one of those men ever stepped out in service or did anything remotely resembling the crap every other woman has to go through just to be considered a good sister by the congregation.
Ive seen the absolute worst behavior inflicted on women by other women in the slightest form of higher positions, being the wives of elders.
I've ween women who could have been amazing broken down until there is nothing left. I've seen women with beautiful minds being treated like breeding cows and nothing more. I've seen young women who could have been strong and independent treated like whores by every male in the congregation.
I have seen the worst of the worst.
If I had the listening ear of the GB... I would put foghorns in their hearing aids and set them to full blast and disable the off switch. I don't want to fix the cult. I want to see it gone from this world. You can't fix that kind of systemic abuse and grossly unjust behavior by having the people in charge listen to the lowly women. What a patronizingly stupid idea. I mean... think about your own question. Does that sound like reality to you? How did you not read that before you hit 'post' and think.... maybe this is a little bit patronizing and I should reword it just a bit. Consider that this is how you were taught to talk to women. Maybe instead of asking us what we would like to be heard on, you should consider how you can change your part in all of this. If the men in the cult changed into open-minded educated people who don't talk down to women and think that we need them to listen to us so that they can change the world... maybe all of our worlds would change for the better.
I don't need the 'listening ear' of any dumb man. And they are not just dumb men, they are ignorant bigots. I have no desire to have any conversation with them. Instead of trying to change them, I changed myself. I got educated and I got out of the cult... and not even in that order. I don't need 'a man' to change my world. I am competent enough to change my own world thank you very much.
@Tallon, welcome back.
Sorry if my post seems a little spiky. I get that way when I think about how awful it was to be a woman in the cult. I really don't mean any insult towards you. At the same time, I stand behind everything that I said. Part of getting educated was getting a minor in ethnic and gender studies. That taught me a lot about the discrimination and biases that I personally saw in the cult. The hardest part of that study was learning that I came out of that cult as an ignorant, self-righteous, abusive, privileged person. I had to do a lot of changing because I really didn't like who I was. And I am constantly looking back and seeing how awful and how inappropriate my own behaviors were. If it helps,. I've called myself out way more than I called you out in this post. And I deserved it too.