My funniest stand up JW Jokes so far

by usualusername1 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • usualusername1
    usualusername1

    In the last couple of months, I have been practising my stand up. So far these are my best jokes:

    Not celebrating birthdays and Christmas has saved me so much money. I now spend them on my favourite hobiies, my car, counselling and crack cocaine.

    Going to my first Birthday Party as an adult was rather embarrassing. I had to download the lyrics to the song Happy Birthday.

    I lost my virginity on my wedding night at the age of 30. When I figured out which bits went where the next night my wife lost hers too.

    Paul

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I like that last one. Ba-da-bing!

  • NewYork44M
    NewYork44M

    Thanks. The best of your jokes:

    Going to my first Birthday Party as an adult was rather embarrassing. I had to download the lyrics to the song Happy Birthday.

    Very funny.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Last one is good!

  • dothemath
    dothemath

    I think even hard-core jws would find those hilarious!

  • tepidpoultry
    tepidpoultry

    A childhood of learning how to spew out absolute nonsense to strangers

    has led to me to a highly successful political career, you'd be surprised to

    learn how many now in office used to be Witnesses!

  • A Ha
    A Ha

    usualusename1, those were all very good jokes.

    A childhood of learning how to spew out absolute nonsense to strangers
    has led to me to a highly successful political career

    I think this should be the punchline, not the lead-in

  • steve2
    steve2

    As a loyal JW, I belong to the happiest religious group in the world. Every morning as I line up with my fellow believers to receive our medication and counselling on the inappropriateness of suicidal thinking, I remind myself how happy we all are.

  • usualusername1
    usualusername1

    Thanks for your feedback...

  • Phizzy
    Phizzy

    " I passed a Jehovah's Witness Assembly Hall the other day, and thought to myself " so that's where they construct all those dumbasses !"."

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