What has been your own personal experience of shunning?

by UnshackleTheChains 45 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • pale.emperor
    pale.emperor

    I hardly seen my family anyway but it still sucks that they have nothing to do with me. My mum tells people I'm dead, one of my sisters spreads rumours about why I was DF'd (everything from adultary to worshipping Satan).

    The flip side is I really enjoy making JWs squirm when they see me. One time I was with my daughter and they completely blanked me but said hello to her. So I said out loud "hey look, they're pretending they can't see me! Aren't they idiots? That's what cults do!"

    They heard THAT I can tell you.

  • babygirl30
    babygirl30

    scratchme10103 days ago

    So what's your experience?

    My family missed:

    • My marriage
    • My failed relationships
    • My successful relationships
    • Helping me when going to college
    • My in-laws
    • My career path
    • My travels
    • My creative projects
    • When i was given an award
    • Being there for me
    • Having me being there for them
    • My home
    • My hospitality
    • My cooking
    • My birthdays
    • My Christmas
    • My Graduations
    • My promotions
    • My husband
    • My successes
    • My failures
    • My illnesses
    • My health
    • Pretty much my entire life.

    AMEN!! Everything that my parents said I would FAIL at - I have succeeded in. EVERYTHING. And as stated above, my growth as an adult and how I've matured, the responsible lady I've become - all 'missed' because my parents believe shunning is the way to go! So much so that they have walked right by me and literally acted like I do not exist. It's really pathetic...

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    It's very sad but true, the religion does divide families. I am lucky that most of my family still speak, but not all do.

    And the reason some do talk, is they tend to apply their own rules or bend rules slightly to suit them.

    They "the elders" tell my mother that she should cut me off so that it makes me "come back to the truth". *sick emoticon here*

    As if anyone, after years and years of a life outside and having formulated their own views, religion and philosophy, could ever stomach a pretence of returning, even to those god forsaken "meetings."

  • UnshackleTheChains
    UnshackleTheChains

    These experiences confirm for me everything wrong with this religion. The effect and impact this policy has on people is astounding. God help those with low self esteem and those with mental health problems, those especially who are young. I mean for God's sake one poster has experienced shunning since 16!!!!. Life is tough enough. For some, it must feel like being kicked when you are down. Terribly sad. Just wrong

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    UnshackleTheChains, that's EXACTLY how it feels, like you are being kicked when you are down. Stupid cult.

    I remember going to one meeting after I was DF'd (and working toward reinstatement) when a sister from another hall saw me and said a cheerful hello and waved happily at me. I was about to smile back while thinking how kind she was, but then you could see that she remembered I was "unclean" -- it was almost comical -- she suddenly gasped in horror & shock and covered her hand over her mouth, while staring at me with the same stupid, horrified, shocked expression on her face. Like she just said hello to Satan.

    It made me feel so ashamed at the time. Now I feel sorry for her and wish I had said "Boo..!!!!" lol

  • Landy
    Landy
    My cooking

    Thankful for small mercies I suppose ;)

  • Rainbow_Troll
    Rainbow_Troll

    Babygirl30:

    AMEN!! Everything that my parents said I would FAIL at - I have succeeded in. EVERYTHING. And as stated above, my growth as an adult and how I've matured, the responsible lady I've become - all 'missed' because my parents believe shunning is the way to go! So much so that they have walked right by me and literally acted like I do not exist. It's really pathetic...

    Congrats!

    I wish I could say that. Basically everything I was warned would happen if I left the bOrg has come to pass—except for the hardcore drug use and multiple sex partners. Damn!

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister
    Baby girl30 So much so that they have walked right by me and literally acted like I do not exist. It's really pathetic...


    Unshaklethechains God help those with low self esteem and those with mental health problems, those especially who are young. I mean for God's sake one poster has experienced shunning since 16!!!!

    This just makes me rage, and I'm a mild mannered type in person.

    But I genuinely believe that parents who do that - walk past their kids, shun from 16, shun the depressed, the Ill, the grandkids, the pregnant hell anykids, should be charged by the government for a full course of psychotherapy for their children no matter their age and should be publicly named And shamed as unfit parents. Ooooo how I wish I could prosecute them for child abandonment!!! We are all our parents children.

    Monsters!

  • flipper
    flipper

    All we can do folks is realize that it's our JW family members that shun us who are messed up in THEIR heads. It's NOT us. It's NEVER been us. These people are mentally off, mentally ill with cult mind control and dissociative disorder firing on all cylinders in their brain neurotransmitters- and our JW relatives will continue to be mentally off until they get away from the JW mind indoctrination meetings and material that clogs their brains. Until then- their minds will remain stuck in " neutral " - never understanding what real freedom of mind is about.

    It's within our capabilities and power to try and continue living a happy, free life and not allow these JW relatives to steal that freedom of mind from us . Let's all keep on keeping on friends ! Freedom of mind and movement is power ! Let's take our power back in our lives ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    JW doctrine sympathizes with the ones who are moaning and groaning about how bad life is in this old bad system of things, and holds out hope of the good and easy, just and young forever life if people just stick with the WT and Jehovah and do what the GB says to do.

    Isn't that what attracted us, - not born-ins, but the converts?

    I went through nearly 30 years of saying I believe the good, i don't believe the bad, approval feels good, disapproval feels bad. My brain was zombie-fied. The mind-control is real. Independent brain functions are disabled. I allowed it because I wanted that reward so much.

    So a person gets trapped, they allow it, but after they are good and stuck, accepting the authority of the org to actually change their brain functions, they can't remember WHAT free will was ever like. So then it becomes a forced imprisonment, not a choice. It's like breaking out of Alcatraz, to think for one's self again.

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