Play Ground Witnessing

by BeautifulGarbage 10 Replies latest jw friends

BeautifulGarbage

I work at an elementary school part time supervising children. I love my job and being around those kids. Having been a witness kid and having been raised in an alcohol crazed environment, I have a soft spot for those little ones who are the victims of adult irresponsibility and heartbreaking circumstances. Unfortunately, too many of the kids at my school carry burdens that any adult would struggle to cope.
Then, there is Billy*, eight years old. A very bright, sweet, and articulate little boy who is desperate for love and acceptance. He also has a mischievous streak that sometimes gets him in hot water with me for an infraction of some silly (in his eyes) rule. Other times, he wants to be my "helper" which mainly entails following me around while I referee various kid disagreements, game rule infractions, and breaking up posse's of 10 year old boys looking for trouble. Recess, and our parting, generally ends with a hug and a marriage proposal. Last term, he told excitedly "My Mom is coming to see me this Saturday!" "She is? That's great!" I would respond. I didn't need to ask, too many kids like him at this place. For whatever reason, he began to explain that he lives with his foster Mom and brother. Matter of factly, he tells me his "real" Mom used to beat and not feed him. Yet, he is still giddy at the prospect of having a visit with her. Remembering my own childhood, I can understand. Being an adult woman with children, I can't.
Billy is a Jehovah's Witness.
How I found out was when he was goofing off during the time, in the morning, when the whole school stands together and does the flag salute. I walked over and in an elevated whisper tell him to stand straight and be respectful! "But I'm a Jehovah's Witness and we don't salute the flag!" he said. "Fine," I said, "however, YOU WILL stand quietly until the salute is done, understand?" His barely audible "yes" indicated that he did. I was probably a bit more stern than I would have been otherwise because of my JW background.
Another time Billy tells me that his foster Mom takes him to the Kingdom hall (he never mentions a foster Dad). I nod and don't say anything. The last thing this kid needs to hear my diatribe about the WTS and what it did to my family. His Mom never did show up to visit him and lost her parental rights. I never ask, he just tells me. But, he's happy because his foster Mom is going to adopt him!
All I can do is let out my breath. I'm happy? I'm sorry?
I'm ambivalent to say the least.
"I'm glad you are being taken care of, Billy".
Then today he comes up to me and gently pokes me on the arm to get my attention, "Mrs. XXX, would you like a Watchtower Magazine about persecution?" "What?" I respond (thinking to myself, "did I hear that right?") He repeats the question. I answer "Billy, school is not the appropriate place to distribute religious material as I eyed the folded Watchtower in his front pocket [I wanted to say "propaganda" but refrained). "O K" he says dejectedly. I guess he had better get used to it because there is going to be mostly rejection of his magazines.
I suppose in his mind he had my best interest at heart because from his perspective I'm to perish at the big A and he was only trying to save my life. And, this life has dealt him a difficult hand, paradise must sound awfully good. The soothing salve to heal all wounds.
Life is good/sucks sometimes.
cruzanheart

What a sweet kid! I think he was trying to convert you so the two of you could get married in a Kingdom Hall! Please give him a hug and tell him that you know he's just trying to do something nice for you, and you appreciate the thought. I know it still hurts for you to remember what it was like being a Witness kid. I remember those days too, and I'm glad my children don't have to go through that.
Love,
Nina
Dawn

My heart goes out to those little ones. I guess it is better to be raised by JW parents that really love you and take care of you, than by abusive parents that beat you and neglect you. Either way you end up with mental problems and emotional baggage - but at least if his JW-foster mom loves him and cares for him he may end up more stable than the alternative.
I work in the criminal justice field and have seen way too many child abuse cases - extreme cases - I can't imagine anything worse than that - yes.....even being raised by "normal" JW parents is better than being raised by an abusive parent.
Joker10

You encourage other kids to color Santa Clause and sing "Noel"? (School not a place to distribute religious literature)
Latte

Beautiful Garbage,
"Mrs. XXX, would you like a Watchtower Magazine about persecution?"

Sounds like he may of talked about you to his foster mom, and I reckon that she would of put him up to it (sigh)
It's better that you rejected it (although dissapointing for him) as his JW foster mom may just get the message, that people don't always agree with JW propaganda.
Cruzanheart,
I too, went through school a JW child, so glad that my kids are spared the experience!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Billy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{{Dawn}}}}}}}}}}
Elsewhere

Poor little thing... make sure you give him a hug and let him know that you understand that he does care about you... but you have other beliefs of your own.
Big Tex

This was a tough read.
I think I understand this little boy.
A very bright, sweet, and articulate little boy who is desperate for love and acceptance.

This is painfully obvious. He was beaten, which is bad enough, but then he was abandoned by his mother. It would be typical if he took this all inward and kept it there. He probably blames himself, perhaps even feeling he deserved what his mother did to him. This is a scar he will be dealing with this for many years when he's grown.
He also has a mischievous streak that sometimes gets him in hot water with me for an infraction of some silly (in his eyes) rule. Other times, he wants to be my "helper" which mainly entails following me around while I referee various kid disagreements, game rule infractions, and breaking up posse's of 10 year old boys looking for trouble.

This is the dichotomy of children's pain. It cuts deep but since they live in the moment it also disappears as quickly, and so Billy behaves like a "normal" 8 year old boy. But notice how he clings to you. There is clearly something in you that he identifies with his mother, probably something about your appearance. You also represent safety to him, and when he feels insecure he gravitates to you. It is also interesting this happens when you "referee" disputes. I wonder if the conflicts on the playground remind him of the beatings he received? It could be some buried desire to overcome the anger shown him and bond with his mother, which in this case is you.
Matter of factly, he tells me his "real" Mom used to beat and not feed him. Yet, he is still giddy at the prospect of having a visit with her.

To him the beatings and abuse were everyday happenings. There was nothing special about it, so he is indeed matter of fact. But she is still his mother and despite her cruelty he loves her.
said, "however, YOU WILL stand quietly until the salute is done, understand?" His barely audible "yes" indicated that he did.

He was acting like a typical little boy. Yes he should be instructed on proper behavior and respect, but your disapproval clearly struck a nerve with him. He took it in at a far deeper level than most other children. I understand your feelings about the Witnesses, and that is what made your response a bit more strong than it might have been, but he does not know that. And so he is making it about him. That's all he knows. It was what he was taught by his birth mother.
"I'm glad you are being taken care of, Billy".

Excellent response. You are letting him feel good about it without taking sides.
"O K" he says dejectedly. I guess he had better get used to it because there is going to be mostly rejection of his magazines.

Ouch.
Yes, I'm sure his foster mother put him up to it. She is acting according to her programming and he is desperate to please someone, so naturally he will do what she wants. But realize that what she knows about you is because he talks about you. He was offering you what, to him, is a precious gift. It doesn't matter now that he is being used by the Witnesses to peddle their magazines. He will find out and deal with that later. No, what is important is he has only known rejection, beatings, neglect (God only knows what his birth mother said to him daily), and you are one of the few bright spots in his little life.
He offered you a magazine from a cult that has treated you terribly, and for which you carry a lot of deserved anger and pain. But he doesn't know that. You are a friend, and he wanted to give you something to show how much your friendship means to him, and how much he cares for you.
BG, please understand I am not criticizing you. I am trying to tread gently as I do not want to hurt you in any way. I just wanted to explain an 8 year old boy's mindset. Back before electricity, I was one myself.
Billy has had a tough life, and honestly, the odds are not good for him. Throw in Jehovah's Witnesses and matters become worse. He will probably never have a mother or father who will be there for him all the time and all his life. Instead, if God is good to him, he will have people come into his life and give him a lot for a little while. He chose you for a reason. He would never know if you threw the magazine away, but for a moment he would have acceptance.
Please forgive me if I have spoken out of turn, or caused you any distress.
Be well,
Chris
freedom96

I feel bad for this kid. At 8 years old, he certainly has gone through much more than he should have to. I do agree that he has a sense of wanting to belong, to be liked, wanting to please.
It is too bad that he has to grow up with the WTS nonsense. He doesn't know any better. All one can do is uplift him, make him feel good about himself.
suzi_creamcheez

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, BG. There should be more teachers like you.
talesin

bg,
It sounds like this little boy is lucky to have you as a teacher/friend. Sometimes a teacher is the only safe person kids have. I know that I will never forget the kindness a couple of teachers showed me.
It's seems clear to me that you are torn up about this - happy he is in a 'stable' home, sad he will be raised JW. You are doing a good job of being his friend, treating him like a 'normal' kid. As a teacher, you play a very special role in this little boy's life. He looks up to you, and is probably drawn to you because of your true empathy.
If I remember correctly (it was a few years ago), acceptance was the best gift one of my teachers gave me. She eased the way for me, and I didn't feel looked down on by her for being 'different' from all the other kids.
Keep up the good work, he will never forget his special teacher for the kindness and consistency you display.
t

Play Ground Witnessing

Share this