Have You Ever Talked to Peanuts? (Boy! Was my face Red!!)

by Frannie Banannie 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    I have talked to peanuts...and was CAUGHT!!! One time when I was living in San Diego County, California....I was in a Ralph's Grocery Store.....now...I have a habit of discussing prices and such while I'm shopping....out loud....there doesn't hafta be anyone else there....I just discuss 'em with myself, since I'm gonna be the one payin'.....when I got to the nuts aisle.....and it was at the end of the aisle closest to the checkout lines, naturally....I began berrating the peanuts over their outrageous prices.....there was a loudspeaker for the store in the ceiling...directly over my head.....just as I finished my oratory to the peanuts, an employee BELLOWED something totally incomprehensible through the store speakers.....I'm extremely easily startled.....and as luck would have it, the store manager was just passing the end of the aisle where I stood doing my spastic, throwing my jerking hands up and jumping through my skin dance, because I thought at first the peanuts had answered me......the man bent over double laughing....I woulda kicked his arse if he hadn't peed his pants right there....harrumph!

    So tell me....have yall ever done anything that turned YOUR face red?

    Frannie B

  • shamus
    shamus

    Frannie,

    It would be quite something to meet you in real life. I bet that you would be a real joker in a social setting..... maybe one day at an apostafest....

    You sound like you don't really give a crap about what other people think of you.... that's a good quality to have. Unless you prance about in weird clothes or something.... *snicker*...

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Shamus, I'll be the one in the purple hat with a red feather.

    Frannie B

  • shamus
    shamus

    And I'll be the guy wearing a pink tu-tu and white one-piece tights with a grizzly old beard.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    And I'll be the guy wearing a pink tu-tu and white one-piece tights with a grizzly old beard.

    Frannie B

  • shamus
    shamus

    Yes.

    Oh god, yes. Please help me, Frannie....

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    Oh god, yes. Please help me

    welll......lessee, Shamus.....yer tutu needs to be a bit longer, cause yer donuts're showin thru those white tights, cher.....

  • shamus
    shamus

    My donuts????? OMG!!! You can see them???? AAAIIIGGGHHH!!!!!

    Done and done. I'll just wear my grandma's sun dress and wig.

  • Special K
    Special K

    Hey Frannie

    I live in a fairly rural community. Agriculture, farm animals and such

    Each year they have a community exhibition of their animals, produce and a big kind of fair with rides and what not.

    It is not uncommon for folks like myself to go through each of the animal barns and have a look . The sheep barn. The poultry barn. The horse barn. The cow barn. THE OXEN BARN.

    When I walk down the middle aisle of the oxen barn with my spouse and best friend, who should come up behind me but this Old Time Farmer.. with his overalls and boots .. and following right on his heels is his pair of HUGE MASSIVE OXEN... BRIGHT and LION..

    Now as you know they,don't lead OXEN with a leash or anything.. They just follow closely behind their owner...

    Well, as I was walking out just ahead of the farmer.. you'll never guess what happenned.

    As we all exited the barn (which I'm really nervous in anyway).. the farmer exits the barn and makes an abrupt turn to the left. Which for some reason, the MASSIVE BIG OXEN ...BIRGHT AND LION.. don't see.

    So guess who they cozy up behind and are following..

    GOT THE PICTURE, FRANNIE... that's right.. ME !!!!!!!!!

    I'm stumbling and turning around and scrambling.. and the oxen are scrambling right after me..

    The Old Time Farmer then "CLUES IN" and turns around and wonders where his massive oxen are and why are they following me as he's yelling.. WHOA THERE.. BRIGHT AND LION.. WHOA THERE..

    He came to my rescue..as the OXEN were almost up my butt by then.

    Meanwhile sitting on the grassy lawn just outside the barn.. stands my spouse and my best friend ..laughing their heads off....

    YIP.. I turned pretty red....

    Special K

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    I'll just wear my grandma's sun dress and wig.

    so.....Shamus?.....with that and your grizzly beard, how'm I gonna recognize you? You'll look just like a thousand other guys there....

    Now as you know they,don't lead OXEN with a leash or anything.. They just follow closely behind their owner... Well, as I was walking out just ahead of the farmer.. you'll never guess what happenned. As we all exited the barn (which I'm really nervous in anyway).. the farmer exits the barn and makes an abrupt turn to the left. Which for some reason, the MASSIVE BIG OXEN ...BIRGHT AND LION.. don't see. So guess who they cozy up behind and are following? that's right.. ME !!!!!!!!! I'm stumbling and turning around and scrambling.. and the oxen are scrambling right after me.. The Old Time Farmer then "CLUES IN" and he's yelling.. WHOA THERE.. BRIGHT AND LION.. WHOA THERE.. He came to my rescue..as the OXEN were almost up my butt by then. Meanwhile sitting on the grassy lawn just outside the barn.. stands my spouse and my best friend ..laughing their heads off.... YIP.. I turned pretty red....

    LOL, SK!!! Peeing my pants here...(grabs fresh "pretends" undergarments and dashes for bathroom)

    Frannie B

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