Breaking up is Hard to Do......

by tyydyy 65 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Odrade

  Been there, done that, or rather had it done to me. Don't tell her you cheated. It will only make her feel worse. Do tell her you don't love her like a lifetime, but you respect her enough to quit being an asshole to try and drive her away. That is why you are telling her. Then don't do the comfort sex thing for the next three months till you find another warm body.

  The cheating was not cool. But it would be even more uncool to tell her and use that as the reason/wedge/whatever to break up. It's over. Tell her the real reason, that you don't love her. Leave out the hurtful behaviour part. She'll deal.

  Odrade
• 

  talesin

  Just sit her down and tell her it's not working for you. That's it. Nothing more required. And for *&((***!! sake, don't tell her you cheated!!

  Be direct, be firm, then GET THE H*LL OUT OF THERE.

  Yes, she'll be hurt. But she'll get over it. Women are strong about these things. If you're too nice, she will cling to hope. Women are stupid about these things. Make a CLEAN BREAK.

  btw, DON'T BE A SCUM-SUCKING CHEATER!!! STAND UP AND BE A MAN FER CRYIN OUT LOUD!!! LEAVE ONE BEFORE YOU F*CK ANOTHER!!!

  (heh, heh, just my 2 cents)

  Tell her the truth, you dont deserve her, there is someone better out there for her and you'de like her to be free to meet that one.

  brummie,

  I'm disappointed you would offer this old, tired line. Shame, shame, kitty! Puh-lease!

  but I still think yr great!

  talesin
• 

  Brummie

  brummie, I'm disappointed you would offer this old, tired line. Shame, shame, kitty! Puh-lease!

  Tis a bit corney isnt it...lol

  btw, DON'T BE A SCUM-SUCKING CHEATER!!! STAND UP AND BE A MAN FER CRYIN OUT LOUD!!! LEAVE ONE BEFORE YOU F*CK ANOTHER!!!

  You say it so much better than I..

  Brummie
• 

  talesin

  {{{{{brummie}}}}}

  not corny, just such a cop-out! (it's not me, it's you, a la seinfield)

  btw, tks, I try to be direct!

  t
• 

  Robdar

  A. Tell her that the chemistry is not there and that I could never be in love with her. Leaving her to question her looks, personality and ability to be loved.

  OR

  B. Tell her I have been unfaithful to her, making it her decision and leaving her pride intact? But making me out to be an asshole.

  Tyydyy,

  I wouldn't tell her that I cheated, if I was you. Why? It wouldn't leave her pride intact, first of all. It will devastate and anger her. Then, if she is a Christian, she will remember the scripture that says that love is not prideful and she will forgive you because "afterall, he's just a man" and she loves you.

  Also, she may forgive you, thinking that you will eventually come to your senses and realize that she is indeed your soul mate. Don't ask me why some women think the way that they do. "Shit for brains" is a phrase that comes to mind...

  Be honest and tell her that she isn't the one. Break it off as gently as possible. If you are living with her, move out. Tell her that the chemistry isn't there. Apologize for wasting her time and yours. Be firm. BTW, do not sleep with her again, it will only encourage her into thinking that you do love her.

  Robyn
• 

  Phantom Stranger

  Look... the cheating is not why you want out.

  You just want out.

  You owe her some explanation... but you don't owe her a pain-free life, so don't take that on.

  It's not working for you...that's enough, you don't need to construct a huge story to make yourself feel better about it - if it's not working, leave it.

  Best of luck,

  PS
• 

  Robdar

  I have tried being argumentative, even though it goes against my nature to be that way. I started trying to distance myself by being unaffectionate even going so far as to be too tired for sex, which is also very much against my nature!

  Tyydyy, with all due respect, the above is cruel and unusual punishment in the love game. You need to stop it right away. You are causing more hurt than you can imagine to this woman who loves you.

  Robyn
• 

  Surreptitious

  Fake your own death, then move to Bolivia.
• 

  Lady Lee

  Actually in thinking about this a bit more I think she needs to know she wasn't in a monogamous relationship. I will assume here (and correct me if I am wrong) but the issue of safe sex hasn't been brought up.

  Perhaps she needs to know if she should be tested for certain types of STDs
• 

  sens

  Perhaps she needs to know if she should be tested for certain types of STDs

  Yer true..

  and syrup...behave plz