I know I am letting this get to me way too much. About three years ago, I stumbled across a web site regarding daily updates on game shows, trivia, etc. I love classic game shows and e-mailed the webmaster. He and I exchanged e-mails back and forth for a while and then we started instant messaging back and forth, sometimes several times a week. I really considered this person a friend and although we never met in person, we seemed to have a good rapport. We both work at universities, love trivia, etc. He even called me at work a few times, just to chat. Perhaps I was totally blind to his motives! This past weekend I went thru my buddy list on yahoo and was seeing if my friends were on-line. Most of my friends go under "invisible" status but have never had a problem until Saturday. I received a nasty response back from him "why are you instant messaging me at night?" "my daughter saw the instant message and was asking about it" "she wanted to know what it was" "I nearly got in big trouble" "I had to really explain that one away" "From now on don't im me, let me im you...blah blah blah." It was simply a smiley face and he reacted this way. I told him to stop being so testy and he got even more rude. I have e-mailed him and told him I don't want any part of his game and I will not contact him via IM anymore. I have removed his name from my buddy list. I think this is the best way to avoid future hostility. It's just that for 3 years it has been a friendly tone. To turn hostile in one instance blew me away. I can't believe I did this, but I was reduced to tears. Please tell me guys, am I crazy or what?
Internet Instant Messaging - Am I crazy or what?
by TresHappy 13 Replies latest jw friends
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drwtsn32
Hmm... that sucks.
Personally I give kisses to anyone who IMs me unexpectedly.
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TresHappy
I am not going to spend too much more time on this subject, I just have to get it out of my system.
Sometime back, he started getting really flirty but then stopped when I told him I was uncomfortable with it. So I don't think that was an issue. Perhaps he grew bored with the conversation, or he's been talking to other women and got caught and was rude to me because his daughter saw the instant message. It doesn't matter, it just hurt and he had always been kind. To cry about this though, I didn't think I'd do that? It just sort of bruised the ego.
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drwtsn32
Tres, your feelings are understandable. It was quite rude how he responded to you.
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RAYZORBLADE
You're NOT Crazy!
TresHappy, who knows what is going on, or if it's really your friend on the other side of the screen.
If the person does not want anyone to IM them: why didn't they turn off the Instant Messaging?
If they were friendly before, but all of a sudden getting all 'pissy pants', then - RED FLAGS are raised, delete the person/BLOCK them, or place them on your ignore list.
You don't need your credibility questioned, nor your integrity insulted.
Could be, someone else using the computer: spouse (jealous), boy/girl friend, son/daughter, relative.....who sometimes have fun with other peoples .
You're NOT crazy, but I have to admit, that would break my heart and crush me to have that happen to me.
It's actually good you posted this, it may serve as a valuable reminder to others, that unfortunately, these things can happen.
((((TresHappy)))) - hugs from Rayzorblade.
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Shutterbug
Does this guy have a wife ?? Sure sounds as if he is hiding something. Bug
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TresHappy
This WAS definitely him, as he called me by name. Earlier this summer his older daughter was doing some research on the computer, and he asked me that night not to im because it may be his daughter and she would probably not know what to do with the instant message. So I didn't, and then he says his daughter had gone off to college. However, we had a 3 year history of congenial instant messages. I am not contacting him anymore via the instant message, no matter if he instant messages me or not. I e-mailed him this morning and said I wouldn't, so I assume he won't either.
Rayzor - definitely the lesson is to take these internet relationships with a grain of salt. You may know this person, but if you get too emotionally attached, like I did, you will get hurt.
It's sort of different here on jw.com, I have met many of these people in person and have had a good rapport with everyone. The thing was, we had plans to meet next year when I was visiting his home state. I was going to visit his school during homecoming. I won't be doing that either.
Shutterbug - he has a wife. We have both spoken about our families. I know his kids names, etc.
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Nickey
He's better left alone. If he has a wife, then 9 times out of 10, the wife doesn't know about you. And most likely his daughter will tell their mother what "daddy" is doing on Yahoo. People use IM's to flirt and cheat everyday and innocent people get caught in the game. You get hooked thinking you've found a cool friend. Until you realize that you were just part of a daily activity of flirting. It's an adventure for them. Yahoo even encourages creating different profiles for different personalities and behaviors.
It happens everyday, so don't feel like you're the only one. It's happened to me.
But let me tell you.... BE CAREFUL. A few years ago I spoke with someone on Yahoo for a while. Later on while watching the news, they did a report warning women to not meet up or speak with a man who had the same Screen name. Come to find out, he killed a few women he managed to meet offline. He wouldn't leave me alone even when I ignored him. He'd make a new name and email. People even get your address with just your phone number thanks to yellow.com and other websites listing your # with your home address. Never again....
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TresHappy
Thanks Nickey,
This'll be my last post, basically because it's time to go home. I have learned from this and I won't be going on the Internet at night very much (I'm on all day at work). He got my work number because he knew where I worked and there's my phone # in the staff directory. I won't be meeting up with him, even if it's a homecoming for his school and in a public place. I'll be traveling in his area of the country anyway and not going to "drop" in. (Although part of me wants to for getting even's sake. But I am afraid he wouldn't take that too well.) I don't think he's crazy, just afraid of getting caught talking to a woman or women. I am definitely letting him alone. Throughout this thread, my venting has actually helped get over this. I am not going to let this jerk bother me anymore...