Have you ever been compelled to talk someone into STAYING a JW?

amac

I have and currently am. My JW father in law was recently stumbled over something rather silly.

This has happened before and he seems to think when he has a personal problem with someone that he'll show em by just not going to meetings and assuming that JWs can't be right if people like those he has issues with are part of it.

Normally this would be great, but when this happened in the past, he was just a grumpy work-a-holic and his wife was miserable. They had no friends and never did anything social, which really affects his wife.

So I have a choice between an active JW father-in-law who is happy, social and gets along better with his wife or an inactive JW father in law who is grumpy, always working, and whenever we're with them we have to listen to him and his wife bicker.

Which would you choose?

Odrade

Man, I can sympathize with that issue. If a person gets out for petty little personal reasons, but still buys the basic doctrine, it seems like their lives totally self-destruct. Look at all the kids who leave out of simple teenage rebellion. For years many of them make dumb decisions, and deal with guilt. Plus the whole problem of having no social network after leaving is a recipe for depression and isolation.

How much better it is if they have solid biblical or moral issue to support their decision. Also a conflict if the person does have a much improved life from being a JW. I know people who were drug addicts/dealers/ barfighters, whatever before they learned to be a JW. Now they have friends who aren't going to land them in jail, hold steady jobs, provide for their children... what about them? Sure you'd like to see them clean up some other way than getting involved in a mind-control cult. But the fact is, if they left over petty reasons, (or maybe even with cause) would their lives go to hell again? In those cases, even if the opportunity presented itself, I don't know if I would encourage them to leave.

Sometimes we get so worked up over the lies of the WTS religion that it's hard to be pragmatic about the individual situation. Some people ARE better off remaining JWs. Sad but true.

Odrade

amac

Thanks for the reply Odrade, and I fully agree. My father in law is extremely hard headed and even if he is inactive, is not open to hearing anything besides what he thinks is right and wrong. So, unfortunately there is not much chance of even introducing him to the scriptural fallacies of the WT, besides I think he'd have a hard time grasping most of them.

It will be quite ironic if my wife and I have to start encouraging him to go back to the meetings!

garybuss

It sounds like he is using the Witnesses as a drug. He's restless, irritable, and discontent unless he can get his fix. My suggestion is to somehow see if you can get him into an exit counseling program while he is in an inactive phase. You might save his life. GaryB

Phantom Stranger

I don't know about the exit counseling... sounds like he needs just plain counseling.

Whenever you feel as if you have only two choices...change your thinking. (Me.)

amac

Thanks for the advice but if you knew my father-in-law, you would laugh at the idea of him going to counseling. That would be near impossible, unfortunately, for him. He is is extremely hard headed and comes from an old school John Wayne mentality and culture.

He's a great guy in that he loves his kids more than anything (I don't think he would ever shun them) but he is probably the most unreasonable person I know.

Fortunately I don't think his life is in danger so I'm not too worried about saving it.

Stacy Smith

Well anytime you aren't sure which course is correct I believe staying out of it is the best course.

freedom96

Staying a witness or not has got to be a personal choice. I cannot condone the things that the WTS has and continues to participate in, therefore in good concience I could never encourage one to stay.

On the flip side, there are some who could not exist if it were not for the "comfort" they find in the hall, and in that case, they are on their own.

Steve Lowry

"So I have a choice between an active JW father-in-law who is happy, social and gets along better with his wife or an inactive JW father in law who is grumpy, always working, and whenever we're with them we have to listen to him and his wife bicker.

Which would you choose?"

Well, actually the choice is his to make and no one else’s. However, if you feel you could somehow sway his thinking, then choose the truth (not the "Truth").

If it meant, that as I looked back on my life, and someone who knew better than me (in this case that would be you) didn’t share that view with me cuz it made it easier for me to be around, I would be very disappointed in my friend for not informing me of the truth. Now, if someone who is very late on in years happened to be in this position, then I may not be so inclined to sway him or her out of their comfort zone. But if they are simply middle aged, then life still has much to offer, even if it comes with a price.

Steve

Steve Lowry

"But the fact is, if they left over petty reasons, (or maybe even with cause) would their lives go to hell again?"

Maybe, maybe not. But, a person shouldn’t justify living a ‘lie’ in any aspect of life (including religion), just because that ‘lie’ may" be the lesser of two evils. Sure, people who leave the Watchtower Society may loose their moral compass for a time, but according to my life’s experience, generally and usually folks find their ‘way’ as to who they are. Most people have enough survival instincts to survive the journey. I’ll tell you what I have many others and that is, freedom comes with the price of making wise and good decisions and this is a learning process.

Steve

Have you ever been compelled to talk someone into STAYING a JW?

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