Beginning again again...please read

by berylblue 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  berylblue

  I don't know if anyone can relate to this...

  It's been a while since I've learned the "truth about the truth". I feel like a total idiot.

  I'm not even sure I believe in the Bible anymore.

  I can't wait around for Jehovah to reveal things to me; it's not going to happen.

  So I have to start living again.

  It's terrifying...but it also feels (cautiously) good.

  Maybe it is wrong for a Christian to participate in politics, I don't know. I'm not even sure I'm a Christian anymore, so I'm going to get involved. Quietly. So if some compelling reason convinces me that I should be a Christian and should be neutral, I won't have to tell my family that I've changed my mind once again.

  I never believed it was wrong to celebrate birthdays...

  I have to start living. At this point, the inertia is just inexcusable. If there will be an Armegeddon, at least I will have lived some semblance of a normal life before the end comes. The way I've come to see it, I just can't spend my life in fearful anticipation of some thing that will never happen.

  I'm going to buy some birthday cards on line now.

  I'd like to share something my mother wrote before she died, about her experience with breast cancer and her possible demise from that disease:

  "One thing I know: I must not squander invaluable time anticipating something that may never be. I will not let fear dominate my thoughts and paralyze my actions. There is too much I want to do and enjoy.

  I have been told that the odds are with me, and I choose to accept that as truth.

  Just like each of us, I am guaranteed only today. I will live each day as completely as I know how and will face tomorrow when it is here."

  Theresa Bottliglieri Scott, d. 1980
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  berylblue

  btw,

  I miss you, Mommy. And I love you.
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  Emma

  ((((((((berylblue)))))))

  You have touched my heart. What wisdom your mom had and I'm sure she's given it to you, too. I don't know what the "truth" is in an absolute sense, either, but I no longer believe I have to. There were so many rules to live by as a jw that it's sometimes difficult to accept being free. You are right to "start living." Please give yourself the credit you deserve.

  Emma
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  Lady Lee

  Beryl

  It is never too late to start again so good for you. Wise words from your mother. Wiser than any words you got from the WTS

  Feel free to experiment with different things. Be safe and don't hurt anyone or yourself. Life has so many options. Getting involved in something you might enjoy is a good start. And if you find out it isn't for you... well then you have learned something new about the world and yourself.

  I tried a lot of things after I left. - some good some not so good - but I learned in thetrying

  So many of us come out of this cult not knowing what we like or what we want to do or even who we are.

  Remember - no mistakes - just learning experiences
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  berylblue

  Emma, thanks so much.

  Lady Lee, great advice. I'm going to print that out
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  cruzanheart

  (((((Rosemarie)))))

  Nina
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  Nikita

  ((((((((Rosemarie))))))))

  Nikita
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  Pistoff

  Oh man I so sympathize with you.......sorry for your loss. I have had the same feelings of needing to move on, but how? If you have any family still there, it is complicated. So glad you are here.
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  LittleToe

  The only reason those things are issues to you are because a dominating religion told you they were.

  I vote, celebrate birthdays, and do a pile of other stuff, yet remain a Christian, regardless of religious affiliation (Rom.14:14 may help).

  LL's comments are excellent.

  I'm sorry you're feeling a hole in your life, at the moment ((((Beryl))))
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  Gadget

  (((Berylblue)))