..mostly more off than on. But maybe you'll see me more often now. I just felt moved to write my feelings. If you all want you can look at my posting history. Just ignore stuff I said then. In reading what I wrote before, I was not expressing myself well and was being a little bit like a jerk, plus there were a few at that time who posted here, that I felt were attacking me so I just stopped coming here. I see that some of those are gone.
Reading of all the bad experiences from the majority of you being JWs, makes me sad, that you were treated so horribly at the hands of some elders. At times, I just couldn't believe all the legalistic stuff you've been through, but then I did know elders who were like that---and thankfully I was not in their congregations. Growing up in the '50's and being a teen in the mid-'60's, with a JW mother and a non-practicing Catholic father, maybe helped to balance me somewhat. My mom was more into spirituality and developing it in me than being legalistic, although she did feel pressure to make me go in service, which I always hated, but she felt it more, at least from my perspective, from some older, strict women than from the servants in the cong. The cong. I grew up in had many who claimed to be of the anointed. There was only one brother that I was scared of (all us kids were) of that class and he was the PO at the time. The rest were kind. In fact when my mom was pregnant with me, one of the anointed sisters, while others were pooh-pooing the fact that she was pregnant in the "last days",told my mom not to let others' remarks get to her. And that it was her own business that she wanted to have a baby.
As a teen, I was in a group of friends all about the same age and we hung around together. We had impromptu parties sometimes, we listened to all the Motown music, the Beatles, and frankly I don't remember anyone telling us we couldn't. At least my mom let me listen to the Beatles. She even listened to the rock and roll stations herself. And later on, when John Lennon recorded IMAGINE, that became her favorite song. I watched the Ed Sullivan show with my dad esp. when Elvis was on. Of course, the camera was never allowed to let the home audience see what the screaming girls in the live audience was seeing--his gyrations.
Anyway, when some of the teens in my group got drivers' licenses, we would go in groups to the beach, to Niagara Falls, or just hang out at somebody's house. (we all had friends there we would visit and they would come to Buffalo to see us). Lots of times we would just sit around and talk, and try to answer some scripture in the Bible that seemed contradictory or unclear. And we would have great discussions! Then when we danced, I remember when the society banned the twist so we had to resort to other dances like the Monkey or the Jerk. I don't remember us getting disapproving looks by any parents or anything. We kept on getting together, so I guess no parent complained to the elders or servants as they were back then.
I regular pioneered a year when I was 19 and I had an experience I won't share right now--but in Jan. 1970 I got married at the age of 22. The congs. that hubby and I were in sure didn't seem like the ones a lot of you described--with elders breathing down your necks for everything. There were some in the cong. we were last in before we moved, who were convinced that 1975 was going to bring Armageddon, but they weren't elders. I never believed it. One sister was upset because she was pregnant and her child was going to be born in 1975. Her hubby was not a witness, so hopefully he calmed her fears. I would never know because hubby and I moved to Florida in 1975. I experienced more culture and social shock moving to Florida than KH shock, I think. The cong. was OK; it was just hard making friends because most of the sisters had known each other from childhood. Plus Florida is a transient state, and I could understand them being a little hesitant, knowing that strangers come and go into the cong,. all the time and a lot of them were whacky--I encountered a few myself. But eventually, I got to fit in--and had a daughter in 1978. Fast forward to when she was 3 and I enrolled her in a dancing school. Never got any flack from anybody from that. She stayed in dancing school till she made the decision to quit which was when she was about 14. I also had a son who I enrolled in the same school when he was about 3, to learn acrobatics. He didn't like it so he quit.
Hubby and I were I guess not the type of JWs who towed the "party" line. We didn't have regular family Bible studies--we never pressured our children to get baptized. My daughter is now 24, still is not baptized and stopped attending meetings last year. She won scholarships for college and went and graduated with a BA degree, and now wants to go back to get her Masters. I know she doesn't buy a lot of the stuff the society is teaching plus she needs to explore herself as to what she wants to believe and I can accept that. She has a good friend who is a JW and just married a non-jw girl. My son who is now 18, and graduated from HS in May, has also won scholarships for college and started in August. He is not baptized yet either. Out of both of them, if any are to be baptized, it will be my son first. But he has to make up his own mind. He does question some of the society's policies and I try not to make things too negative for him. We never forbade either of them to have worldly friends. And I have to admit, they both have made good judgements so far as to who their friends are.
I'm at a place in my life now where I am trying to decide if I want to do a slow fade or just DA myself. I am an only child, my mom died in June. The rest of my family (uncles, aunts, cousins) are all Catholic and live away from me. My husband, even though we don't talk about what we really think about the org, I think is more of an organizational witness, where I am more concerned with spirituality. His sister and her hubby stopped attending meetings years ago over a molestation incident that involved their, at the time, 17 yr. old daughter, and and elder's son, who was 18 and was her boyfriend. I do have friends that have known me from childhood, but most of those were friends of my mom who live in Buffalo. The friends I hung around with, some have stuck to the org., others left. Those who were my mom's friends would be hurt and shocked that I left, and so would the friends here in FLA. Anyway, that is a decision I will make eventually.
I just wanted you all to know that I am not bitter toward the org. I didn't have any bad experiences. BUT I feel for all of you who had pain being associated with the org. I don't know if it's the area of the country, or what...but it really disgusts me that treatment like that goes on toward Jesus' sheep.
I do wish my dad had put my foot down though and insist that I go to college--but he let my mom have her way. I could go now if I want, but I feel that reading all kinds of material (and I haven't finished yet..by a long shot) has given me the equivalent of a college edu. I also learned to paint and I am trying my hand at writing although that needs polishing--maybe I'll take some classes on that. Also I am getting interested in photography--my daughter is taking classes on that. But my decision to either fade or DA myself is based on things the society has predicted that hasn't come true. I think they lost a true visionary when Fred Franz died, and they don't have a direction to go in. So I'm just biding my time...waiting to see how it goes. I also had REAL LIFE hit me in the face earlier this year but that is another story for another time.
Just wanted to share since I don't think I did much of that when I first joined JWD. And welcome to the new person here. I failed to note your name before I posted this.
