Driving thru my past tonite..literally..

by LyinEyes 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    Tonite , I was afraid of the feelings I might have passing thru the area where my Mom and Dad grew up , where all of my family still lives, and where my Mom is buried.

    My son, Jake had a game in Natchitoches and we had to go right thru the area to get there. I decided at the last moment to stop my Grandfathers place. When he died it went to my Mom, but since she was dead before him, it goes to my sister and I.

    I had a little cry when I stopped at my Mom's land, where she grew up and we went everyweekend to visit her parents.

    The land is my inheritance that should have been my Mom's had she lived. The gate was locked and I got a picture of me and the kids standing by the Lazy B Ranch sign. I know that there will be a buyer for the over 450 acres soon and that sign will no longer be on the gate.

    We were on our way to our oldest son's football game, they played in a college stadium in Natchitoches and played a AAA team, although they are only an A, barely that.

    My son was sick , but made 18 tackles and although they lost , I was proud. I told him he was playing on the land that belonged to our Indian ancestors over 100 yrs ago. All of my kin people are right around that area. The college is right down by the river front, where they have the big Christmas Lights Festival, also right where the movie Steel Magnolias was filmed. My uncle was one of the real doctors that had a cameo in the movie.

    I guess , going thru the place that I grew up around, going right past where my Mom is laid to rest , just hit me harder than I thought. But really , I felt close to her, I had some laughs at the things we used to do......like laughing so hard while she was driving home in her Lincoln, going 90, and got pulled over for speeding. Of course at first she blamed me for making her laugh so hard , but we decided to not tell Daddy about that ticket.....just things like that.

    I enjoyed telling my little ones , who got to see the land and walk where I walked at their ages,,,,all about the things I did out there and how much their Grandmother loved that land,,,,, it really made me feel good.

    Jake , didnt get to see it , he was already at the field when we got there, rode the bus with the team. But I did get to have a little talk with him before the game started and although he was sick as a dog with some kind of flu, he played anyway. I always love to watch him, look to the stands and see if his dad and I are watching him, , or is other family and friends are there to cheer him on, he smiles and waves just a little.

    Being free from the borg to let my kids do the things they have always wanted to do brings me so much joy. The happiness they feel, the freedom they have, the childhoods that will not be lost , in so many ways makes up for what we lost.

    It is amazing that all the pain you may have been thru in your life, when you look into your children's faces and see happiness , all the things in your own past seem to be easier to bear. I guess because you feel you are doing something for the child that you once were, by making sure that your children have what you didn't.

    Well, this is long enough , just wanted to share some of my feelings about going back "down home", seeing the old stomping grounds and really understanding that life goes on,,,,,,,,and it goes fast. I think we should soak it in , take it all in everyday , life with our families and friends is a very precious thing.

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Dede, I have to hand it to you.

    When you make a post, you sure as hell can make almost each and everyone of us, live in the moment with you, as if we are right there with you, in-person.

    I love the stories you relay to us about your Mom.

    The fact she drove a LINCOLN Continental: I love her even more

    Thanks for sharing with us, the real moments in life that happen, but are sometimes thought of as 'insignificant' but never are, in reality.

    Thanks for sharing Dede, you're a darling!

    I loved talking to you a couple of months back. You're such a hon!

    ((((Lyin'Eyes))))

  • FreeFallin
    FreeFallin

    What a beautiful and touching post. I got goosebumps reading it.

    FreeFallin

  • arrowstar
    arrowstar

    ((LyinEyes))

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. We were in Natchitoches toward the end of August and fell in love with the city. I went to college in Nacogdoches so I'm familiar with the town since I had a friend doing summer theatre out there. Remember "The Louisiana Cavalier"? No one does...so don't fret about it. When we were there I was reminded of the beauty of the town. I was such fun to point out historic sites. Also, duck-herding by the Cane River.

    Thank you again

    Lisa

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    Thanks for the replies on my post, I just felt the need to talk about it and it helps me to write ,type it all down ya know.

    I am really amazed at how far I have come since I joined this site and have learned to open up and bare my soul. That was something as a JW I didnt do because I was always afraid to tell how I really felt about things. It is good to know we have each other to talk to and not fear that someone is going to think we are silly for the things we feel, sometimes people that were never JW's , dont always understand how deeply we were held back by it all.

    My youngest son, got a rock for me from my Grandpa's land , right by the fence, and gave it to me when we left. He wanted me to have a little something of the land that my Mama loved so much. That meant alot to me and I will always treasure that rock, not just because it was part of that land, but because my son thought how much it would mean to me, and it did.

    Thank you all for listening and understanding. It was hard to go thru there this week , since the anniversary of her death was Sept. 15, 1985 , she was only 35 years old and now I am older than she was. But sharing her and her memories, keeps her alive to me and hopefully my kids will know what a special person she was.

    I just wish she would have been free from the JW's in here heart , like I am now, and I wish she had friends like all of ya'll here on the board. I think it would have made a great difference in her life. It is a terrible thing to feel so alone. This is a place where we can meet where we don't feel alone anymore, we have so many that shared our pain and our stories are so similar.

    Thanks to all of you for your friendships and your support,,,,,,,,,,love ya, Dede

  • Shakita
    Shakita

    Dede:

    My youngest son, got a rock for me from my Grandpa's land , right by the fence, and gave it to me when we left. He wanted me to have a little something of the land that my Mama loved so much. That meant alot to me and I will always treasure that rock, not just because it was part of that land, but because my son thought how much it would mean to me, and it did.

    The best gifts we receive in life are the ones that don't cost a cent. I treasure all the drawings, pictures, and hand-made gifts my children have given over the years. These are our most precious memories.... You son sounds like a great kid.

    I also like your writing, Dede.....from the heart.

    Mrs. Shakita

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    Dede--I just love you, I'm pretty sure I have told you that before, but it needs repeating.

    Like everyone else, you have such a heartfelt and genuine way of writing. So conversational, so honest. Just beautiful...your beautiful writing is a true reflection of what a beautiful person you are...I am so glad I got to meet you in Dallas, and I am even more glad I can call someone like you a friend.

    Being free from the borg to let my kids do the things they have always wanted to do brings me so much joy. The happiness they feel, the freedom they have, the childhoods that will not be lost , in so many ways makes up for what we lost.

    That is so touching. I don't even have kids and you tugged at my heart with that. You and Denny both are such loving and heartfelt people. You're both such gems!

    Damnit all, now I am all weepy!!

    *big hugs*

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    (((((((Dede)))))

    I am always in awe of your writing and giving of yourself.

    Freedom is sweet and so are your kids. Enjoy them and life.

    Hugs,

    j2bf

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    ((((((((((((((((Dede))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    You know I love ya girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Wow Dede, just a powerful post. The past is always there, sometimes haunting us, sometimes empowering. But our pain is part of who we are.

    Thanks for sharing that.

    Chris

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