Child Abuse not grounds for divorce (page 2)

Nosferatu

I think it would also depend on if the child abuser was repentant. If the child abuser repents their sins, it basically erases all the guilt and the mate would have to accept that the child abuser has changed their ways and is now fully serving Jehovah.

waiting

I have searched the WT-CD and the BOE letters I know of and cannot find anything. -blondie
10/8/91 Awake footnote
The Secret Wounds of Child Abuse
Our discussion focuses on what the Bible calls por·nei´a, or fornication. (1 Corinthians 6:9; compare Leviticus 18:6-22.) This includes all forms of immoral intercourse. Other abusive acts, such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, and exposure to pornography, while not por·nei´a, may also damage a child emotionally.

Actually if the abuse was of a sexual nature then it becomes porneia and is scriptural grounds for divorce, breaking the marriage bond. Any dub who says otherwise is not informed. -sad elder

Hello Sad Elder, Blondie (who is a good researcher) couldn't find a WT quote like the information you gave. Could you provide one? I remember the 1991 article. This would be helpful to us - and I'm thanking you in advance. "Informed" is an odd word. Informed by who? How was the dub infomed - word of mouth or written policy? Was it for "Elders' Eyes Only"? In this article - exculsively writing about sexual child abuse - the WT defined "por·nei´a, or fornication - and all kinds of immoral intercourse." "exhibitionism, voyeurism, and exposure to pornography, while not por·nei´a," - same WT

Singing Man

For hevens sake, if you want a divorce then just do it, you don't need the WT's permision. Get a life. Even more so if someone has abused your kid, goodness!

RevMalk

Singing Man, the questions aren't for the purpose of getting a divorce, nor has my child been molested, but thanks for your vote of confidence anyway!

Rev

(confused)

waiting

lol - good advice, but not really pertinent to this discussion.

The discussion surrounds the question............has the WT advised a parent of a sexually abused child (by the other parent) that they could/couldn't get a scriptural divorce and remarry - being jw's?

And what does "sexually abused child" really mean? Rather like "loose conduct" - could mean a lot of things.

I agree wholeheartedly with your advice, however. If they want a divorce.....just do it. Problem is, jw's aren't free people - if they want to continue to be jw's.

waiting

RevMalk

So, I guess what I'm talking from this is that if your child is molested and there is evidence of intercourse, you're far better of in receiving 'permission' to divorce....

if not, you can always hope for a lenient body of Elders....

interesting.....

Englishman

Things must have changed. I recall COC mentioning a sister who was told she couldn't divorce her husband on the grounds of him having had anal sex with a prostitute as it wasn't considered as adultery. Only vaginal sex was grounds for divorce.

Englishman.

RevMalk

see, that's the stuff I'm talking about. The problem is, keeping track of what's currently 'lit' and what's not can give a guy a migraine!

Rev

blondie

Only vaginal sex was grounds for divorce.

That was probably back in the days when a person could not divorce a mate who had a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex or an animal. That has since been changed.

Rather than thinking of the situation being different because a minor is involved (related or not), think of the sexual behaviors that the WTS nows considers grounds for a scriptural divorce. If the behavior had taken place with a consenting adult (or nonconsenting) and was grounds for a scriptural divorce, then it should follow if the behavior had taken place with a minor it should still be grounds for a scriptural divorce.

What happens is that people's minds shut down to the sexual aspect of the incident in the case of molesting. They can't comprehend that this was a sexual attack. It is too uncomfortable.

A spouse is not obligated to forgive a sexually unfaithful mate whether it be with the PO's wife, the woman at work, the woman next door (or man). It makes even less sense to require her to forgive a mate that has committed porneia with their own children.

Loris

Personal experience:

My daughter was molested by her father, not a JW but only an interested person. He was arrested. He threatened my daughter, age 12, and so she recanted to the District Attorney. I went to the elders when he was arrested. They advised me that they had talked with my husband and he denied the charges. In fact he had agreed to have a Bible study. He told them that he had disciplined the girl and that was her way of getting revenge. They believed him. I was told that under no circumstances was I free to divorce him. I was told that I should go home to my husband, be a better wife, train my children to be more obedient. If I did not do those things I could be blood guilty for stumbling the newly interested person.

It took me about seven months to plan my escape from him. During that time I was not a good wife and I never left any of the children alone with him even for a few minutes, even though that meant taking five children to the grocery store.

I have no idea if they were following secret elder instructions or not. I was never directed to any WTS publication as proof of what they said.

Loris

Child Abuse not grounds for divorce

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