Men typically marry less than one year after the death of their wife. Women usually marry far later following widowhood.
After the death of a spouse, how long did people wait to get remarried?
by RubaDub 32 Replies latest jw friends
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Biahi
My mom has been widowed over 25 years...never looked for anyone else, I think she wants my dad back in the ‘new system’. I remember, about 20 years ago, some ‘brother’ came by her house twice to bring her flowers. She was in her late sixties, this guy was in his forties. When my mom said she wasn’t interested, he stopped, a month later he was married to another widow much older than him. He was on ‘disability’ and wanted a widow with a house and money. I guess he didn’t like to work.😏
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LongHairGal
BIAHI:
Yeah, no kidding!..if a woman’s got a house that’s a plus in some JW men’s eyes. Too many men are opportunists.
Out in the dating world a woman also has to be careful because there are too many guys looking for a woman with $ and a place to park their worthless ass!
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LongHairGal
RUB A DUB:
On a somewhat related topic: people getting remarried after divorce.
Years ago somebody once in the congregation who moved out of the area when they got married - got remarried within a relatively short period of time after their divorce..People wondered if she possibly knew the brother while she was still married.
The family (who lived in a nearby territory) were carefully silent and made themselves scarce during this period of time. A group out in service passed by the house and saw the father’s car there. Somebody in the car group knocked at the door - nobody answered - and this only added to the speculation that perhaps they didn’t want to answer any questions.
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cyberjesus
let the dead bury their dead...
sons of resurrection dont marry...
no biblical need to grieve... dead jws are either on heaven or in paradise
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dozy
I remember one instance where it was really hasty - 3 months or so. The guy was an elder , his wife died of cancer & very quickly he began "courting" a sister. His daughter was really upset and for years she had a lot of resentment towards her step mother.
The problem in JW world is that you can't date for extended periods and certainly not live together , so the pressure is always to marry as soon as possible.
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snugglebunny
From what I've seen of some families, it can be the grown-up children that can cause problems for a bereaved parent who wants to re-marry. Plaintive yelps of "What about our memories of Mum" are often the response to a widowed father who's maybe spent years alone before he's able to form a new relationship.
My lady and I have made it plain to all our children that neither of us wishes for the surviving partner to remain in enforced loneliness for the rest of their life. And we're both OK with that.
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RubaDub
My lady and I have made it plain to all our children that neither of us wishes for the surviving partner to remain in enforced loneliness for the rest of their life.
snugglebunny ...
I really like that. If more people did that, it would certainly reduce a lot of unnecessary stress.
Rub a Dub
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tiki
One I know of....elder...wife suddenly passed in her sleep. He was in early 60's I think.... He latched onto a young woman in her late 20's...divorced with a child. His words and I quote " when your old dog dies, what do you do? You get a nice new puppy". I was appalled. This was maybe 6 months after the death.....
Two others I know of wasted no time either. One around 80 snapped up a 60ish year old sister who had been taking care of his ailing wife. They "dated" with a chaperone. How sad is that!!
I was widowed awhile ago and the last thing I want is to remarry. I had the best possible man for me and my marriage to him is forever.
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road to nowhere
Some children worry about the younger wife inheriting the house and money. And jealousy of step siblings both ways