by Lady Lee 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Blondie
Like you I dealt with the family issues first and then began to see the religious issues.
When I took at look at how dysfunctional Russell and Rutherford were it doesn't surprise me at all that they built a religion/organization that mimicked the dysfunction within both of them.
People take the patterns they are familiar with and tend to repeat them elsewhere in their lives. Kinda scary
Lady Lee,
Grandpa was a great manipulator. He learned from his mother. Great Grandma was an expert. She had me in knots trying to figure out how to please her. Eventually I quit trying.
Grandpa was so self-centered. Even when he gave gifts it was to make himself look good. He had a thing about not owing anything to anybody, so you couldn't do things for him without him wanting to pay you. I made some money that way washing his dishes, but when I wanted to do something for him just because I wanted to, I couldn't.
I think desensitized really describes my family situation well. Turmoil was a constant at our house that I just never got used to.
Rule # 9 is what I keep hope will happen, but I am beginning to think that maybe it just isn't any of my family to change. I will probably be the only one. They seem to like the turmoil too much. I am so different. I started thinking. I started questioning. They may be too comfortable in their turmoil to do this.
Still, I'm not ready to quit trying. I'm not ready to give up hope. It's too scary and I haven't figured out how to find a balance yet. This book may help.
And so I will keep speaking my truth.
Tammy
I just typed in "toxic" in the search box.... I just ordered the "toxic Parents" book & about 6 other books as well. I really appreciate the people who cover serious issues here (but many times I also appreciate the goofballs on here too )
Marking for tomorrow
Hi, Snap!!
Hi Palmtree . I'm glad I looked this up....my books have already been sent. Can't wait to get them! I'm slowly coming to terms that it's time to cut my parents out of my life until they quit acting like 6 year olds. It breaks my heart , especially since they're not spring chickens anymore and the chance of them dying is not out of the question. I guess when I sit them down to inform them that the reverse"shunning" has begun, I will make sure they understand that I love them with all my heart. The only reason I am doing this is because my health is involved....I've always been very sensitive. If I feel stressed or sad or hurt, I get the worst tummyaches, neckaches, headaches. Even if I'm having a great day and happy moments, the stress of others still affects me and I still get sick.
Great info.
Bangalore
I;ve read Toxic Parents several times. The word of mouth among abused children was wonderful. Amen to the title. I have to be careful to separate my parents actions from the WTBTS actions. Posting here has given me the precious gift of being among others whose childhoods were stolen. The abuse was a strange brew of their emotional demons, multigeneratoins of dysfunction, and JW culture. The culture is distinctive and separate from doctrine. I've related how awful my father was. He claimed legitimacy from God. How does a preschoolelr know this is not true?
When I was a teenager, the over the top popularity and spirit of the Beatles gave me momentum to know no God endorses sadism.
I dreamed of getting worldly credentials and rescuing JW children. It is sad b/c of the training to help but I can't take the emotional stress. All I do is donate small sums of money. All through school I thought of interesting JW term papers but I feared my emotions would lead a deadly grade for prof'l school and I was deeply embarassed to have been a JW.
Several therapists doing intake asked me my religion. I start by explaining that I was raised a JW. They interrupt me before I can finish the sentence and declare that they cannot treat any JWs and altho they refrain from value judgments, past experience with JWs has soured them. It is a cruel, sickening religion.
" I start by explaining that I was raised a JW. They interrupt me before I can finish the sentence and declare that they cannot treat any JWs and altho they refrain from value judgments, past experience with JWs has soured them. It is a cruel, sickening religion "
Wow Band,
Yes it is a cruel, sickening religion.
